pre-holiday preparation

the heart feels like it's been hit so many times already.it burns.

a huge part of me is hype about the semester break.but the other huge part is scared and wants time to move as slowly as possible.

nana is leaving on a jet plane.na,though we bicker a lot, u know i've got ur back and u've got mine.not seeing u for one whole friggin year would be devastating.i cant imagine not seeing u for a whole week,but now ur going for one whole year!who's going to text everyone to lpk?and what about raya?not having our raya together?!dont get me started on bday's:'(

this is starting to get a wee depressing






why cant things be the way i want:(
oh babyyyy,this holiday is going to be hard.i feel it in me bones.

p-p-pppp-oker face

aiyo.in the midst of exam week,i am able to fall sick.my eyes are super duper puffy and looked as though i've been crying nights long.(which i haven't ok)my nose is red like bozo the clown, voice coarse like a man trying hard to be a woman.oh and what else, i have not been studying due to the fact that my head is spinning round and round which leads me to sleep for hours long.im not fit to meet people either coz my runny nose keeps on running and that requires me to hold a tissue against my nose.and at times, pieces of the tissue gets stuck to my nose and i often don't realize it making me looked like a complete dufus.this is how i see it, the tissue is like the paper and my hingus as the glue.i reckon the humid weather plays a significant role for this illness i'm having.

im praying tomorrow i'll be better so i could finally switch on to my geeky mode and bury my head deep in my books.





adios amigos and gambatte kudasai everyone!

i wanna get out.

i suddenly feel like getting out of shah alam, out of my comfort zone and go somewhere faaaaaaar.i have been living here all my life,every corner, road, building, section has it's own significance to me.this is the place where i grew up in. friendships, tales , stories, events were all based in my sleepy town.my past was carved in this land i called home.i love everything about it, despite it being a tad boring without cinemas or big shopping complexes.

so i think it is time that i say goodbye to those memories i built here and start collecting new ones someplace else.i feel it is my time to grow.so with that,i think i shall apply the internship application and insya Allah i can soar my wings in the land of opportunities right after i have finished my degree.

pep-talk

omg aina.get a hold of yerself.u got a test tmrw and all ur thinking about is shopping!u bought four pairs of shoes, 2 bags, a couple of accessories and wasted soo much money in the past 3 days and u want moreeeeeeeeeeeeee stuff?sgt membazir.stop being so shallow and start concentrating on tmrw's paper.u can splurge later on after ur finals but now u gotta study,study,study.

i know when u shop, all ur worries are drown the drain and it's just the happiest feeling.but keep in mind, that the happy feeling is temporary.so stop wasting your money and start concentrating.

sumpah malas giler nak buat pte

my hse is currently under construction.my toilet included.yabedabeedooo!!but what bugs me is a bunch of grown-ups in my parameter,discussing really loud and not knocking before entering.ishh.i'm a girl, i need my own privacy, a lil heads up before entering would be good.so when my room is in a mess, i could tidied it up beforehand.u can enter my space anytime u want but all I'm asking is for u to give me an hour's notice so i could do justice to it.kapish?:)



p.s-my grandma got me this really cute mirror for my loo.it's tres chic even for a mirror.currently going bananas over it.hihihi.

we were both young, when i first saw u

nash's post inspired me to write about my first 'boyfriend'.hahhaa.well,where do is start.we were both 13,we live in the same neighborhood, i was in the first class and he was in the last, i was a prefect and he was the bad boy.i didn't even like him at first, my sister thought he was cute so i copied and i liked him as well.haha.

i cant remember how we became an 'item' but i rmbr walking to school with him everyday,not saying a word to each other.hahha.we would stroll together along the school's corridor so the whole school would know we were an item.he's best friend lives across my hse and so we would spy on each other on friday nights(homework-free day) from our hses.when i see him him looking at me, he would duck and switched off his lights and i would do the same.it was hilarious but adorable.

and for my 13th bday, he gave me a dolphin glass thingy and i thought it was really cute.i still have the dolphin but it's now dusty and being kept in my drawer.i really did like him, he was always there protecting me when ppl made fun of me. ppl nicknamed aina gedik growing up but he didn't care.

time went by,feelings changed, people changed, we broke up.i moved on to other guys and so did he with other girls.so here i am now, 8 yrs later, in my nightie, reminiscing about the first guy who stole my heart;)







p.s-pah, he's a syed*wink nudge nudge*

that means i cant twirl my hair anymore!

i had this wicked idea of cutting my hair dead short. super-duper short.like a guy's length.
one of my guy friends told me that if i were a boy, i'd be handsome and to achieve that, i have to sacrifice my hair.




i'll be a dude with a high-pitched voice who giggles every second.

hmmmn,that wouldn't be soo attractive now, would it?

greetings earthlings.

one more journal to go and i'm freeee.feel like blubbering something out here in cyberspace world but got nothing on my mind except thoughts of my aching ulser, rumbling tummy, and the last journal.oh and my cuz's bday.

saf, i cant blive ur 21!though ur there in down under and i'm here in the hot sunny weather, i'm soo proud of u.we've gone through so much together, fights, break-ups,hook-ups, deaths, divorces, cookoo maids, runaways, celebrations, corny crushes, goodbyes, hellos, secrets, vacays, bitching, pulling each other's hair out, embarrassing moments and so much more!

i love u cuz




eyh wait, i just realized the line 'ur there in down under and i'm here in the hot sunny weather' actually rhymes.haha.

yay or nay?

at times i really wish i was a tape recorder.so i could rewind, stop and start anew*hak dush*

oh no.this semester is coming to an end. u guys will be going back to your hometown soon and sa will be so quiet without all of u:/

i will esp. miss micro teaching-i had so much fun being the student.i can actually imagine u guys in action.nash the cool teacher, k.own the garang one, safwan the goofy science teacher, mry the creative stylish teacher and syafrein the 'konon konon' garang teacher tp tak jd and everyone else.i enjoyed every minute of it:))


xxxx

quit already

urghh.i hate her.i hate her.i hate her soo much.so what if i wear shorts outside.what if i suck at ironing.what if i gv food to my frens.who cares.who actually gives a shit about wht i do.u dont have the right to tattle about me to everyone u know.u try to be all innocent and dumb in front of others but the truth is ur actually not,ur this conniving betch.urgh.geramnye.

stop talking about me coz i dont give a rat's arse about u.

in a mess.

im in a dazed.my mind is swirling in a circle.i reallly reallly realllly cant wait for this term to end.i cant wait for this friday to come so i can finally let loose and think straight once more.ive been really bad these couple of days,i've hurt the ppl i care about and i feel horrible about it.when there's too many things on my mind, i go haywire.i talk nonsense and spread such negative vibe onto them.and i wanna go threading coz my eyebrows's friggin bushy and cut my hair coz i now look like a banshee and i wanna shed some extra kilos coz i've been eating a lot.i say i m on a diet but i ate a whole friggin cake.not a slice but a whole cake.which is equivalent to 5 ppl's servings.and i wanna focus and actually read remains of the day coz i got a test this monday but i cant coz everytime i try to read i'll eventually sleep.


oh poo:(

i need more money

i'm beginning to hate digi.grr.abis duit org je.topup rm 10, 4 msgs later and they say my kt is less than rm 2.stupid la like this.dhlh i'm running outta money,i need to run errands and be in contact with ppl.what they think im rich ke.boleh topup everyday.fyi, i live on rm 2 daily.i try my best to save my moolah.grr.nak tukar to maxis la cam nie

what have i become

Today started off on a rough start. but the most sinful act I’ve conducted so far was me being an arse, not giving my bus seat to the old, Chinese lady, carrying a handful of stuff.I wanted to stand up and tapped on her shoulder and give her my seat but a part of me was too lazy to get up plus I didn’t wanna look like a suck-up in front of other passengers and I also had the dumb mentality that why should I be that person who gives her seat, why not others? As the bus started moving, I felt bad. If everyone were to think and behave the way I did, the world is really going upside-down. Urgh. Why should I even care what they think of me, I won’t see them again, let alone meet them. I can be such an arse at times.

oh what have i become:/

on to a cheerier note, Ive received my very first online purchase and now i'm on a mission for more