the last day of 08

New Year's eve was the shiz, yo! It was heaps of fun all day long. I was laughing like a hyena the whole day, both with my UITM and Shah Alam buddies. Head swaying from side to side, hands all over the place, mouth wide open kinda laughs. (Not a good sight, trust me) We were a bunch of drunk hooligans in the streets of Shah Alam. What better way to kick start this year with the people I love around me.

Darlings, thank you for making the opening of 2009 a memorable one for me!

I love you all

im in my whiny+emotional mood.pls bare with me yea?

nak muntah makan byk sgt for dinner tadi.pening kepala coz there's smtg wrong with my pc.the colour of my screen is yellow.sgt sakit mata.if this continues,tanak switch on the net dah lah.thus written thoughts will be on hiatus mode for now.sedih pula rasanya:(

tmrw nite is new year's.i feel like celebrating this year but me mates dont feel like it.the boys have parties to attend to.i guess it'll be you and me baby.like always.maybe i shall write down some of my new year's resolutions.and try to stick with it this time.

speeches

i suck at impromptu speeches.i do,i really do.when out of the blue, someone calls my name asking me to gv a speech in front of a crowd,i automatically become this giggly chicken.it's embarrassing i tell ya.E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-S-I-N-G!

lemme give u a couple of my tummy-flipped thwarting impromptu speeches i've experienced:-

18 yrs old,pre-degree part 2

Had this seminar mdm maftuhah forced us to attend. We were the eldest participants there,the rest were still in high school or should I say they were still babies. Half way through the seminar, half of our classmates left. I think they went to klcc. Anyway ,the rest of us stayed.and to our dismay, they started picking out candidates randomly to gv a speech in front of everyone. They’d give a random topic and expect you to gv your 2 cents about it. And because of that, I purposely chose a sit in front, near the speaker so the ‘kakak’ wont pick me but nooooo.she just had to pick me. She went past the speaker and quickly shoved a paper in my hand.ooh and I rmbr herne telling me that she had a feeling I’d be chosen. and boy was she right.oh well, lucky me. I got a topic entitled ‘popularity’. As I went up, I saw my mates grinning with encouraging eyes and smiles carved on their cute faces. And me being me, I started speaking gibberish with both my hands flying all over the place. I cant really rmbr what I said. But i rmbr touching on proms and handbags with loads of ‘likes’ in between. when I saw the audience’s puzzled looks, I said ‘u may think im a blonde or a bimbo but im not ok’and the crowd burst into fits of giggles.I seriously don’t know what got into me. why oh why did I say that.grr.embarrasing.

20 yrs old.yesterday.2 days before entering part 4(yesterday)

Yesterday was tok baba and tok bubu’s 50^th wedding anniversary.we held the ceremony at my hse. We sat in a circle as my uncle recited a few dua’s and nasihat about marriages. suddenly he started calling each and every one of us to give a speech on my grandparents.i sat behind k.shana thinking I could hide behind her and get away with it.and again,I was wrong.when my name was called, I nearly wet myself. I dunno how I looked,but I must have given a petrified look coz my cuz’s started laughing.(thanks guys,you guys are really supportive*note sarcasm*).I can rmbr my exact speech since it’s till fresh in mind:-

“assalamualaikum everyone.Tok ba and tok bu,thank you for everything.i appreciate the times we ‘ve spent together. the shopping sprees, the trips, the holidays, the dinners, the lunches, the tea breaks. I know I can always rely on the both of you when I need someone. With the both of u,I feel as tho.i could talk about anything from dishes,recipes,food,islam to boyfriends.and with that,I thank u”

Ok.that wasn’t so bad but I still feel I could’ve done better.grr.especially at the end.when I uttered boyfriends,I saw my dad adjusting his seat as sign of uneasiness.hahhahha.that was funny.but on a more serious note, I really do talk abbout boyfriends with them.seriously.and i do want to polish my speeches,esp impromptu ones.my English sucks, man.

Ok.i wanna go next door and play with my best friend, the baby.toodle dee doo.

(I just hafta include this.my parents are making out like crazy rite now.they think im not looking but I am.erk.disgusting.the sight of them kissing still gv me the shivers)

pink.

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bad day

i did something really bad today.wait.i did a couple of really bad things that im not proud of today and fuck,its not a good feeling(pls excuse my language.i swear when im upset)i feel like babbling all these to someone but heck,i dont really have anyone except u and my diary.usually i would turn to shahrir for comfort tp takkan lah everytime something goes wrong i'd turn to him.he's my ex-boyfriend for heavens sake.

and that feeling of not having anyone to talk to sucks.big time.

if only there's an invention where one could go back in time,today would definitely be one of those days.

rasa cam nak nangis je.babi lah.im big enough to not cry over petty things like this.i can go through this without shedding a single tear.its all my fault pon..i deserve to feel the way i do now.

serves me right.

bye bye year

2008 is coming to an end.frankly,im bummed.being the bum bummer i am,i'm bummed(just feel like rhyming there.hehe).being a year older means more responsibilities which will then result in more chaos and commotion.

2008 can be considered a good year for me.ive learned so many things, explored many ventures,went through a whole series of ups and downs,met great people and etc.but the prominent aspect I want to highlight here is that I believe I am a much wiser person than I was before.

The ‘good’ people I once believed was ‘all that’dosent seem so good after all.all this while,I saw what I wanted to see.this year I learn to unravel both the good and bad of people. I’m a tad disappointed I must say,but hey, im just a kid,they say.

Ive learned about myself too.ive learn to accept the person I am,flaws and all.and when Ive succeeded in that field,I believe I am a much happier person.i do things that makes me, ME and not soo much of what others wants me to be.gettit?

p.s->isn't my title just the corniest?:P

2009,here i come!

i have terrible mood swings.isnt it apparent from my posts?one day im happy and the next im throwing a tantrum and crying my eyes out.

like this morning.got upset beacuse my mum didnt let me do blueberry cheesecake for the family gathering coz she feels im not good enough to do it.pfft.

i know im being immature but i just cant help myself.

dont blame me,blame the hormones.

man,im hungggry.my tummy is doing somersaults right now.shite.laparrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

i wanna polish my bahasa

somehow i feel like blogging in malay today.

lemme tell u wht happend yday

tengah hari
melayari internet,menonton last friends sambil menangis,menonton autm dan antm di channel v

3-5pm

saya bermain badminton dengan rakan-rakan adik saya.yes,saya sangat pathetic.semua lelaki berumur 15 tahun,saya tahu mereka mengajak saya kerana mereka tidak mahu tewas dalam permainan itu.mereka mersakan dengan adanya saya,gadis yang malas belari,tidak suka lompat dan tidak tahan peluh,mereka dapat mersakan kemenangan dalam perlawanan tersebut.saya merasakan seolah-olah saya sebiji bola.masing-masing tidak mahu berpartnerkan saya.saya kecewa lalu berehat di tepi untuk bermain 'snake' di telefon bimbit saya.

5.30pm
k.shana menuduh saya mencuri eye shadow nye yang berwarna perang(gold) tetapi in my defense,saya tidak mencuri eye shadow nye itu kerana the correct term untuk benda alah tersebut adalah eye shimmer,not eye shadow.so saya tidak mencuri/meminjam eye shadow nye,saya mencuri/meminjam eye shimmer nye.but i didnt tell her that though.i kept quiet.hehehee.

6-6.30pm
saya dengan dedikasi nya telah membuat chocolate pudding yang resipinya diambil dari surat khabar.ia boleh dimakan panas ataupun sejuk.jika ia dimakan panas,ia sesuai dimakan dengan ice-cream vanilla.rasanya seperti chocolate lava cake dari michael angelo's.

malam.
bermain dengan bayi tawfiq,menonton last friends sehingga episode terakhir.menonton 1st episode my boss,my hero,ketawa terbahak-bahak.tido.

i think demelza from autm is a bitch

i'm happpy.hehehehe.i cant stop smiling.i dunno why.nothing extraordinary has hppnd today and yet i cant stop grinning:))

oooh did i mention i feel like a mum these days?i know.weird rite.this is bcoz im with the baby 24/7.i even sleep with him.he kicks like no other.he pushes me.mingigau in the middle of the night.wakes up 4-5 times per night.cries and scream.sleeps on my tummy and my face.hugs me.forces me to pat and sing him a lullaby so he can doze off.

when he's sound asleep with his mouth open and legs all over the place.i often wonder to myself how could a cute little person produce such loud sounds.hmmn.

believe me,the whole idea of taking care of a child is tiresome.especially when night time approaches.

mummies out there,kudos.i now have a huge level of respect for u guys*proud tear*

i've been tagged!

35 littl​e secre​ts
​Be hones​t no matte​r what!​


Who was your last text from?
unknown number

Where​ was your myspace defau​lt pic taken​?​
at home

Are you a happy​ perso​n?
most of the time:))

Your relat​ionsh​ip statu​s?
Single

Have you ever lost a close​ frien​d?​
yea coz of the distance:(

What is your curre​nt mood?
in a dazed

What'​s one of your siste​rs names​?
adlin shazana

What'​ s your favor​ite color​?
purrple

If you could​ go back in time and chang​e somet​hing,​ would​ you?
omg.this is hard.next ques pls

Have a crazy​ side?
definitely!

Ever had a near death​ exper​ience​?​
ermm.dnt think so

Who Did You Last Hug?
nana

Are you mad at anyon​e right​ now?
nah.

What'​s stopp​ing you from going​ for the perso​n you like?
history

When is the last time you cried​?​
last week

Who would​ you do anyth​ing for?
the ppl i love

Are you happy​ with your life?​
yes:)

Whats​ your favor​ite numbe​r?
i dont have one.

Is there​ someo​ne that you will never​ stop lovin​g?​
yea

Is it attra​ctive​ to you when a guy/girl smoke​s?​
yup.it turns me on.hehe.i find it sexy.i dunno why.

Do you get scare​d easil​y?​
oooh yes

Do you speak​ any other​ langu​age?
malay and a bit of japanese and achenese

Do you have any pets?​
nope.

Descr​ibe your life in one word?​
intriguing

Have you ever kisse​d in the rain?​
i dont think so

What are you think​ing of right​ now?
im thinking of watching pana's japanese dvd

What shoul​d you be doing​ right​ now?
watching dvds

Who are you think​ing of right​ now?
no one


What are you liste​ning to?
sound of the birds chirping

Who was the last perso​n you told I love you to?
my girlies

Who was the last perso​n who you yelle​d at?
k.shana

Do you act diffe​rentl​y aroun​d the perso​n you like?
yea.i get really nervous and shy.hehe*blushes*

What is your natur​al hair color​?​
dark brown

Who was the last perso​n to make you smile​?​
the baby.he said 'aku cinta kamu aina'heeheee:))

Who am i tagging next?
nashrah!

it's definitely that time of the month

i dont understand how i could hold on to something that isnt even there.im soo pathetic, it's sad.tho life now offers soo much more,i often grasped to memories and things that arent mine anymore. it's depressing to see how i could succumb as low as I am now

i've got a sore throat.

my cousin,Nameerah,a pious 14 year old grl changed my perspective on how i view things recently.she studies in a madrasah in Johannesburg and is now on holiday.she's sleeping over at my place for a couple of days to catch up on old times.thus we had grly time watching movies and gossiped till the wee of the morning and one of the stuff we talked about was arranged marriage.

being a fond believer in the four letter word, i was always against of the thought of my parents choosing my future spouse for me.whenever me and my friends would talked about this, i would always lashed out and go against the whole idea of this.the thought of it made me go hijejibes.

so when Nameerah told stories about some of her friends back at school tying the knot using this method,i was all ears. surprisingly, she told me they last longer than love marriages.and that made me go thinking that the idea of knowing someone after getting married is just beautiful.

going out with someone now might be fun.you would always have that someone to turn to,to cry on bla bla bla.but just think about the things you do with that person,the sins you have committed and will commit.and when you finally settle in,you'd know head to tail about that person,thus where's the fun in that right?or what if u dont settle in with that person.you would always carry that extra guilt baggage.

im not saying i oppose the idea of love marriages.and im not saying i dont want boyfriend(s):p.im saying take a minute to ponder on what i have always go against.the idea of getting hitched with someone u barely know isn't soo bad, u know.

so i made a promise to myself.by the time i reach 27 years old and ready to settle in.but still haven't found the 'one'.i would let my parents do the honors and be cupid.


there ive said it.fiuh.

the past couple of days

im sorry bloggie.i've been too busy for u.too busy that i no longer have the freedom to switch on the net,watch tv,sleep properly,even too busy for the baby and friends.this is because i am now a master painter.okay maybe not a master painter but latter part is definitely true.

so during my 13hrs a day painting stint,i have
1.poked my eye with the brush.a couple of times.
2.touched the ceiling
3.had a nervous breakdown.cried and marah2 ppl for no apparent reason
4.fell from the tangga
5.discovered that painting is quite relaxing if there's music.
6.know the meaning of cheap labour
7.appreciate 3rd room(one of the rooms in my hse)moreeee
8.get to know my maid better(i now know she is a dedicated yet kuat berangan person)
9.get to know my dad better(i now know that he is a responsible worker but tends to give his 2 cents at the most inappropriate times, when everyone is tensed and tired and that annoys me)

im sick,tired,my body hurts,head is spinning uncontrollably,i feel like giving up and and having a good laugh with my mates.but i cant.i gotta finish what i've started.i dnt wanna be like azzam,who's being a bum watching tv whilst everyone's working their asses off.no,i am better than that.