i can't hold it in any longer

So many things are going right now. I’m so tired of school; I’m so tired of being the coolie where everyone bosses me around in school be it teachers, clerks and school administration. I did everything asked with a smile on my face. I’m currently the painter, the ajk kebersihan for katam quran ceremony, the tutor for Peralihan students (students who have trouble reading and speaking) and on top of it all, I’m a trainee teacher who gets observed 4 times by her supervisor and 6 times by her mentor.

Everything I do is not par to the ‘school standard’. I can’t stand it any longer. If u want the school to look pretty, hire a freaking painter. I am not inclined to doing art works therefore you shouldn’t put much hope in my mural. Talking behind my back to students and other teachers on how dissatisfied you are with my mural won’t make you people any popular.

I just want to cry and be a student once again. I’m not getting paid so please be kind to all my voluntary works. I’m really trying my best.

Oh and to topped it all off, the students are currently being extra annoying and rebellious these past days. They even put on a show in front of my lecturer. Well, just the purrrrfect timing.

p.s-oh and my friends are pushing my buttons on such silly matters. seriously, I feel like I’m going loony

Wear the hair differently

I have a hard time letting go objects, possessions and figures that are once close to the heart. I find it difficult to take a leap ahead because I carry this baggage around me.

Sometimes, I just wish that my past was a tad different. Not extreme changes like different families and etc but subtle changes like the people I used to associate myself with and etc. This is because the past hinders me from doing things differently. I feel that if I acted a different way than how I usually do, I feel like I’m swindling what I had despite it being gone ages ago.

Thus, I am now afraid to test new waters, afraid to take the plunge, afraid of being hurt again. But then again, how do you live life if you’re too afraid to try new things.

It’s truly a burden when you secretly want to be different but the heart says otherwise.

I’m 22 but I’m acting like a 60 year old. Someone needs to give me a vigorous shake and tell me that it’s ok to do things out of the norm.

I need to have the courage and write new pages of my life.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Alexander Graham Bell.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

-E.M. Forster.

spoken like a true fat kid

Here is a list of the eateries i must go and stuff my face before Ramadhan starts. (This is a yearly routine i do)

okay.here goes-

1) Sec 7 fresh frozen eatery.i like how they marinated their meat.It's so juicy, yummy and I keep having dreams about them.like seriously!

2) Waffles at Waffle World. preferably eaten for breakfast.

3) Oreo cupcakes with vanilla icing.This one I'm proud to say I can do myself. I just need a bit of booster for the determination and effort to take place.

4) Nasi Lemak paru PKNS. the best nasi lemak ever made. I swear nasi lemak jati is nowhere near compared to this Singaporean based nasi lemak.

5) Delicious's Chocolicious sundae.the name says it all

6) Any megherita pizza.

7) Rhema Thai's Tomyam .spicy and sour just the way I like it.

8) Mcd's gourmet chicken burger. Who would have thought that something so delicious could be so near my hse. Best eaten on its own, without ketchup/chili sauce.

9) Khalifah's Garlic Cheese Naan

10) Mirasaa's Kuey Teow Soup-clear and healthy just the way I like it.

11) Aunty gina's mee kari.

12) Serai platter at Serai, Empire. This platter comes with sauté mushrooms, chicken/meat/lamb on stick (satay), fried ring squid and etc.

That's about it now.I'm drooling as I'm typing this list. damn, it's midnight and I'm hungryyyy! great -____-

because u suck in the fun

it irks me when one sulks at a happy event, sitting all gloomy with a frown all over your pretty face. if you don't want to join in the fun or at least pretend that you are having fun, why don't u just stay at home.not only that, you should also keep your downgrading remarks to yourself. we're not 5 thus, throwing tantrums in public isn't so cute anymore :)

cheer up, sour grape!

a quickie

i've missed u written thoughts. i finally got the chance to re-read my previous posts and read/replied your comments. the comments given truly makes my day and i can't help but to grin and smile like a complete buffoon in front of my laptop screen :D

have a happy week,ppl :)

in dire need of mr.discipline

All these while, It didn't really bother me that people find me rather lembik. However, when 3 year olds starts bullying me and starts dissing me, that is when it crosses the line. As much as I love my little Tawfiq@baby, he annoys me like crazy. He is at a stage where he imitates whatever you say.

Me: Tawfiq, don't be so naughty!
Tawfiq: You lah naughty
Me: Erhh.I'm gonna sell you to the paper man
Tawfiq: I'm gonna sell YOU to the paper man
Me: No, you...
Tawfiq:YOU!!
Me: Stop copying whatever I say..
Tawfiq: YOU stop copying whatever I say

(this is a typical scenario at home/restaurants/shopping complex and this row will continue for the next 5 mins or so)



When he throws a tantrum at home, i can still take it BUT when he puts on fist in front of strangers and guests, my family and I would turn into flaming tomatoes. malu nyeee.

That one time, he went under the table during dinner time and started fiddling the guests' toes.OMG sumpah malu!

And another time, we were at KFC and he wanted to order something I can't remember and apparently that particular food he wanted was unavailable. He started screaming at the waitress and threatened to shoot the waitress. The whole KFC went dead silent, the type where you can even hear a pin dropped.awkward~

Recently when we were at secret recipe for my dad's bday, he started befriending strangers at the restaurant calling them 'Hi, orang paper' in his shrill voice.


When this happens, I can only apologize and smile awkwardly.

MAYDAY, MAYDAY,WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO DISCIPLINE THIS LITTLE TODDLER ASAP!

Doing number 2 isn't so coo'

These past few weeks, I've transformed into a munch monster.I munch everything I get my hands on be it keropok, biscuits and lollies. I noticed I've gained love handles, jiggly arms and extra film on fat underneath the buttocks. so unflattering-____-

One fine Thursday night in the midst of my munch madness, I happen to stuffed my face with nasi arab bought by my mother. The rice was good, the roasted chicken was roasted to perfection. However, the red gravy accompanied it was a bit off. I gobbled it down nonetheless. I even had two to three servings of the gravy despite its funny smell and odd taste.

The next morning, my tummy did some serious somersaults. The pain was excruciating(*cue water works) I had to put my hands on my tummy at all time for pressure, I couldn't stand straight and had to visit the loo every 10 minutes to do number 2. It hurts so bad that it was up to the point that every visit to the loo would end up with tears.

To topped it all off, I had pre-practicum that very morning. My parents advised me to skip pre-practicum because of my situation but I insisted on going as me being absent from one day of pre-prac would result to failure for my entire practicum.

Lets just say, I pulled through the day with a straight face carved, despite the piercing back-flips going on. Went straight home, did my business in the loo for the umpteenth time and slept like a baby.



Thanks to my food poisoning experience, I have become a selective, picky eater. There is a musibah or a lesson learnt from this agonizing experience after all.