written thoughts

bitter

2011-01-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

it's been awhile since I last posted something here. ahh well, i was not in the mood for blogging. lately i noticed I'm becoming more pessimistic and negative. beats me why and it's affecting my behaviour and ehmmn... the number of friends.

one of my new year's resolutions is to bite my tongue and avoid being snappy.however, it seems that I have not been true to my resolution, as somehow this year I've gotten meaner. when people drop nasty comments, i just can't help but to think of mean comebacks and replies hence, I don't think twice before saying it. This is because the longer I take thinking for a comeback, the less nasty my comments will be. Hence, I would not be a worthy component for a tongue-lashing dual. I think it's truly unfair that I have to take all that crap from a person. I am human. I, too have feelings. Why must I tend to other's well being if I am not being respected. It's unfair and I certainly do not deserve to be a victim of your emotional outburst.sign me up for anger management!

fiuhhh. I just feel a loaded of anger being lifted upon my shoulders. how i miss blogging.

Holiday break list.

2010-11-15T20:58:00.000-08:00

Since my students’ examinations are over, the intensive tuition has reduced from twice a day, 4 times a week to once a week. That being said, I find myself being jaded and planning out what to do daily. So I look forward to gym sessions with Nash and Mary 3 times a week. Hanging out with my homies (the eight) everyday is simply out of the question for now since they are busy with work, examinations and other commitments.

So to occupy my time this holiday, I’ve decided to list the list the things to do when I’m bored and alone:-

1. Go to the library and borrow more novels. I’m currently re-reading my sister’s ‘Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella.’ It’s not as amusing reading it again as I know every event, every character by heart. Thus, the sense of mystery is no longer there. That goes to all the books at my house. Hence, I have to go to the library.

2.Start searching for journals for my academic exercise. This should be my numero uno priority but reading journals are boring (No offense to those who enjoy reading journals) I can’t help but to procrastinate and push it aside for now.

3.Start whipping out desserts. I successfully baked lemon meringue pie last week. The recipe is surprisingly pretty simple, not that much of a hassle except for the waiting and the beating.The verdict: a light dessert as it is cut in small pieces (best eaten for tea time) , the pie was not too sweet. (Which I am fond of) However, it was a bit egg-y (but then again, it’s a meringue what do you expect) Next week, I’ll try to make pumpkin custard. I hope it’ll turn out like the one they have at Famous Thai.

4.Catch up on Glee, Cougar Town and Britian’s Next Top Model.

5.Learn how to cook main dishes. I often bake desserts as I have a sweet tooth however, when it comes to real food, I fall flat on my face. I suck. BIG TIME. I guess I’m scared that my dishes would be inedible hence, everything would go to waste.

20102010

2010-10-26T06:48:00.000-07:00

I noticed that my blog has become quite passive and negative lately. This is because my blog is the only way i can express and pent out my emotional, depressed feelings. Even though today I’m actually quite bitter due to certain undisclosed matters, I shall update on my birthday which was last week to cheer myself up.

May I point out that this year’s date was super cool.ch-ch-check this out 20102010

Lets cut the chase move on to pictures shall we? ;p

that's me opening nana's present.thank u salon partner

my girlfriends dancing and coming up with their own rap.they crack me up :')

i was so shocked to hear the birthday song on the radio, hence the face :P

l-r:nadhirah,me and shidot

susu and me

dotdot

*group hug in the middle of busy pyramid*

i cant believe we're 22!

nadhirah looks so cute!

my pretty girlfriends!

thank u everyone!family,best friends, friends, students, neighbours, random strangers etc for the songs, wishes,celebrations, presents, cards, smiles, hugs. if i could give all of you big wet sloppy kisses, i would.i seriously would. a billion gazillion thank you. Each and every one of you have made my bday more special!

muah muah muah! xxx

exactly what i need now

2010-10-02T22:43:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon this video on youtube recently.I find it really inspiring.thank u kandee :') u've inspired me to turn my day around. au revoir tears!

a people pleaser.

2010-10-02T03:03:00.001-07:00

I care so much about other people's feelings that i often forget to attend to mine. I would cuss and cry reflecting over the what-ifs and what when wrong. Where the truth is, I know I'm on the right path despite the heart says otherwise.

I don't wan't to be a people pleaser because I know I can't force everyone to like me.It's just that I can't sleep peacefully at night thinking I have made someone upset.Especially if that someone is someone I care about.

I know I've mentioned this before but I seriously need to let go off the past. It's not bringing me any good :'S

i can't hold it in any longer

2010-09-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

So many things are going right now. I’m so tired of school; I’m so tired of being the coolie where everyone bosses me around in school be it teachers, clerks and school administration. I did everything asked with a smile on my face. I’m currently the painter, the ajk kebersihan for katam quran ceremony, the tutor for Peralihan students (students who have trouble reading and speaking) and on top of it all, I’m a trainee teacher who gets observed 4 times by her supervisor and 6 times by her mentor.

Everything I do is not par to the ‘school standard’. I can’t stand it any longer. If u want the school to look pretty, hire a freaking painter. I am not inclined to doing art works therefore you shouldn’t put much hope in my mural. Talking behind my back to students and other teachers on how dissatisfied you are with my mural won’t make you people any popular.

I just want to cry and be a student once again. I’m not getting paid so please be kind to all my voluntary works. I’m really trying my best.

Oh and to topped it all off, the students are currently being extra annoying and rebellious these past days. They even put on a show in front of my lecturer. Well, just the purrrrfect timing.

p.s-oh and my friends are pushing my buttons on such silly matters. seriously, I feel like I’m going loony

Wear the hair differently

2010-08-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time letting go objects, possessions and figures that are once close to the heart. I find it difficult to take a leap ahead because I carry this baggage around me.

Sometimes, I just wish that my past was a tad different. Not extreme changes like different families and etc but subtle changes like the people I used to associate myself with and etc. This is because the past hinders me from doing things differently. I feel that if I acted a different way than how I usually do, I feel like I’m swindling what I had despite it being gone ages ago.

Thus, I am now afraid to test new waters, afraid to take the plunge, afraid of being hurt again. But then again, how do you live life if you’re too afraid to try new things.

It’s truly a burden when you secretly want to be different but the heart says otherwise.

I’m 22 but I’m acting like a 60 year old. Someone needs to give me a vigorous shake and tell me that it’s ok to do things out of the norm.

I need to have the courage and write new pages of my life.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Alexander Graham Bell.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

-E.M. Forster.

spoken like a true fat kid

2010-07-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of the eateries i must go and stuff my face before Ramadhan starts. (This is a yearly routine i do)

okay.here goes-

1) Sec 7 fresh frozen eatery.i like how they marinated their meat.It's so juicy, yummy and I keep having dreams about them.like seriously!

2) Waffles at Waffle World. preferably eaten for breakfast.

3) Oreo cupcakes with vanilla icing.This one I'm proud to say I can do myself. I just need a bit of booster for the determination and effort to take place.

4) Nasi Lemak paru PKNS. the best nasi lemak ever made. I swear nasi lemak jati is nowhere near compared to this Singaporean based nasi lemak.

5) Delicious's Chocolicious sundae.the name says it all

6) Any megherita pizza.

7) Rhema Thai's Tomyam .spicy and sour just the way I like it.

8) Mcd's gourmet chicken burger. Who would have thought that something so delicious could be so near my hse. Best eaten on its own, without ketchup/chili sauce.

9) Khalifah's Garlic Cheese Naan

10) Mirasaa's Kuey Teow Soup-clear and healthy just the way I like it.

11) Aunty gina's mee kari.

12) Serai platter at Serai, Empire. This platter comes with sauté mushrooms, chicken/meat/lamb on stick (satay), fried ring squid and etc.

That's about it now.I'm drooling as I'm typing this list. damn, it's midnight and I'm hungryyyy! great -____-

because u suck in the fun

2010-07-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

it irks me when one sulks at a happy event, sitting all gloomy with a frown all over your pretty face. if you don't want to join in the fun or at least pretend that you are having fun, why don't u just stay at home.not only that, you should also keep your downgrading remarks to yourself. we're not 5 thus, throwing tantrums in public isn't so cute anymore :)

cheer up, sour grape!

a quickie

2010-07-04T04:51:00.000-07:00

i've missed u written thoughts. i finally got the chance to re-read my previous posts and read/replied your comments. the comments given truly makes my day and i can't help but to grin and smile like a complete buffoon in front of my laptop screen :D

have a happy week,ppl :)

in dire need of mr.discipline

2010-05-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

All these while, It didn't really bother me that people find me rather lembik. However, when 3 year olds starts bullying me and starts dissing me, that is when it crosses the line. As much as I love my little Tawfiq@baby, he annoys me like crazy. He is at a stage where he imitates whatever you say.

Me: Tawfiq, don't be so naughty!
Tawfiq: You lah naughty
Me: Erhh.I'm gonna sell you to the paper man
Tawfiq: I'm gonna sell YOU to the paper man
Me: No, you...
Tawfiq:YOU!!
Me: Stop copying whatever I say..
Tawfiq: YOU stop copying whatever I say

(this is a typical scenario at home/restaurants/shopping complex and this row will continue for the next 5 mins or so)

When he throws a tantrum at home, i can still take it BUT when he puts on fist in front of strangers and guests, my family and I would turn into flaming tomatoes. malu nyeee.

That one time, he went under the table during dinner time and started fiddling the guests' toes.OMG sumpah malu!

And another time, we were at KFC and he wanted to order something I can't remember and apparently that particular food he wanted was unavailable. He started screaming at the waitress and threatened to shoot the waitress. The whole KFC went dead silent, the type where you can even hear a pin dropped.awkward~

Recently when we were at secret recipe for my dad's bday, he started befriending strangers at the restaurant calling them 'Hi, orang paper' in his shrill voice.

When this happens, I can only apologize and smile awkwardly.

MAYDAY, MAYDAY,WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO DISCIPLINE THIS LITTLE TODDLER ASAP!

Doing number 2 isn't so coo'

2010-05-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks, I've transformed into a munch monster.I munch everything I get my hands on be it keropok, biscuits and lollies. I noticed I've gained love handles, jiggly arms and extra film on fat underneath the buttocks. so unflattering-____-

One fine Thursday night in the midst of my munch madness, I happen to stuffed my face with nasi arab bought by my mother. The rice was good, the roasted chicken was roasted to perfection. However, the red gravy accompanied it was a bit off. I gobbled it down nonetheless. I even had two to three servings of the gravy despite its funny smell and odd taste.

The next morning, my tummy did some serious somersaults. The pain was excruciating(*cue water works) I had to put my hands on my tummy at all time for pressure, I couldn't stand straight and had to visit the loo every 10 minutes to do number 2. It hurts so bad that it was up to the point that every visit to the loo would end up with tears.

To topped it all off, I had pre-practicum that very morning. My parents advised me to skip pre-practicum because of my situation but I insisted on going as me being absent from one day of pre-prac would result to failure for my entire practicum.

Lets just say, I pulled through the day with a straight face carved, despite the piercing back-flips going on. Went straight home, did my business in the loo for the umpteenth time and slept like a baby.

Thanks to my food poisoning experience, I have become a selective, picky eater. There is a musibah or a lesson learnt from this agonizing experience after all.

a dreamer.

2010-04-20T06:13:00.000-07:00

greetings earthlings,

In the midst of study week, where everyone's head is deep buried in educational books, mine is deep in Sophie Kinsella's novels. I'm rereading all the novels for the umpteenth time cause you might just stumble upon new details that you haven't noticed before right?

besides that, I've also been stalking people's facebook pages and reading random blogs. and I happen to notice that so many couples are tying the knot this time around. perhaps it's the mating season?haha

since we're on the topic of weddings. lets shift the focus to ME, ME,ME!;p (*waves hands frantically*) I love weddings. I love everything about it. I love seeing wedding preparations, the matching costumes, the exchanging of gifts and etc. Such has led me to think about my future wedding though it's not anytime soon *fiuh*(wipes sweat off parents foreheads)

(Dont snicker, a girl's gotta dream too;p)

I would love love love to have a garden wedding. (with air-cond can or not? nanti makeup cair.hehe) The greens and flowers scream romantic!

ah yes, colour-coded bridesmaid wear. my bridesmaids must wear the same colour but should wear according to their tastes, personality and body types making them look tres' chic as well.

my hairstyle should be teased a bit accompanied with a sweet hair piece like the picture above. i like it to be kept at its minimal.simple is grandeur after all :)

okay,that's enough dreaming for tonight. will update more soon:D

(photos taken from google images)

pre-holiday ramblings

2010-04-19T02:43:00.000-07:00

hello world,

education.

semester 6 is finally over :D this is my worst semester yet. the workloads and stress level sky rocketed.relationships and patience were tested and we endured despite the bickering and exchanging of harsh words. Maybe the administrators purposely bombarded us with shitloads of assignments and tests just to test us as people. whether we can cope under pressure.Thus having assignments piled upon us, I cant help but to ponder, how do one complete all and give their 100% in each assignment?because this time around, i did and completed my assignments for the sake of completing it and not give it my all.And for that, I'm scared of the results.

love

I'm 22 this year and I'm still single and yes I'm fine with that. I won't lie there are times when I get lonely and want to have someone whom I can turn to. And yes, there are times when I get a wee bit jealous when I hear my friends' love stories. However, to be honest I'm just not ready and I'm pretty comfortable on my own. I don't need a guy to make me feel complete. I'm independent that way:p I feel like there are more to life than just being glued to someone and for now I want to live life to my beat. (don't get me wrong I'm not dissing you if you're attached to your other half.This is just my personal opinion because I'm not ready. And no, this post does not refer to anyone :))

food

I'm a food-lover. I eat anything that is edible and allowed and I'm always up for food dares and experiments. (unless it's too gross like cicak masak kicap, then I have to pass) I think you get my drift. anyway, since I'm always so tensed these days, I tend to pig out and so, my body has expanded. say hello to unwanted love handles and jiggly arms-___-

so here I am now on a diet mission, (*cue destiny child's song survivor) and my mission is to omit everything deep-fried and opt for rice once a day. exercise by skipping rope for 300 times once in 3 days, swim for 10 laps or cycle for 30 minutes.Hopefully, my body would be like Angelina Jolie's in a month's time.Amen.

friday ramblings.

2010-04-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

this semester has been hectic for all of us, including yours truly.when i get stressed out, i tend to lash out and say the meanest things though i don't intend to and thus, i pity cik mary for putting up with my rags and nags.heee. sry darl

even though, i can't wait for this semester to end, i'm actually pretty scared. i'm going to graduate next year (Insya Allah) and I still have no clue what I want in life. It really scares me when your friends are all so confident and have their own plans/routes in life. Everytime i ponder upon my future, the idea of being out there in the real world scares the shit out of me. I'm just not ready.

Though I'm in the teaching field, I know teaching isn't my calling. I like kids,scratch that. I love kids but I can't stand being with them more than one hour let alone the whole day. oh help me GOD.

because I can't stand it anymore.

2010-04-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

Some bus drivers are so discourteous and rude. I feel embarrassed for them. Note the determiner used. (some, not all okay!)

Like how I run like a mad donkey in my baju kurung just to get on the bus after a class and when I finally arrive at the door, you don’t seem to have the courteous to open the door. Mind you, I am a paying customer therefore, people like me who rides the bus daily are your customers, yes? You make a living because of us. So why don’t you be a little less selfish and just stop and open the effin door for us?

I can’t stand bus drivers who are so self-centered and won’t let people ride the bus because some of the customers do not seem to possess the ‘touch and go’ card? I don’t know how some of these bus drivers have the heart to shoo these customers from entering the bus eventhough the customers are willing to fork out cash. I find it rather rude.

What irks me the most is when bus drivers behave such as the above mentioned to children and the old aunties and uncles. Where is your senses, how can you be so heartless? Just imagine these little kids were your own children or the old aunties and uncles were your parents left alone under the scorching sun because some jerk does not want them on their bus. It’s so not so nice and funny now right?

So next time be a little more courteous, think of others instead of yourself.

Or else, I swear I will take your number and name and write a letter of complaint to the authority. Let’s see who’s the last one laughing now, shall we?

i need my space.

2010-03-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

sometimes you just need to be with the boys.they won't 'terasa' as how grls would. u can just tell it straight to their faces and not beat around the bush. i miss them boys. Im not in the mood to butter up to those grls anymore.

Jakarta, u are missed

2010-03-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

i had the urge to write in the blog after realizing that my written English is jeopardizing.According to Mr Arif, lecturer of Introduction of Shakespeare 'blogging can enhance the language' so tadaa here i am in pursuit to better the language.

i've always wanted to update regarding my vacation to Jakarta, Indonesia. Jakarta is my second favourite city after Shah Alam, of course;D

i was there for my cuz's wedding, Kak Novi. the wedding was extravagant.even the akad nikah was over the top.According to my Indo cuzs, (In Indonesia) Kak Novi's wedding is considered just an average wedding.I can tell how luxurios a wedding is by looking at the chandeliers.kak novi had twelve chandeliers at her wedding, mind you.(i actually took pics of the chandeliers but somehow i forgot which folder i saved the pic-__-) i cant imagine how an extravagant Indo wedding would actually look like.

the akad nikah. kak Novi's hubster putting a ring on Kak Novi's finger.
The whole balas pantun at the akad nikah ceremony was so long, we were so bored,i dozed off for awhile, woke up and camhored with these two ;D some of my cuzs at the wedding. fyi, they are wearing traditional achenese costume. ( they're the nicest, most humble boys i've ever met. girls, if u want nice, decent guys.ditch those Malay boys and opt for Indo boys instead;p)
the dessert station at the wedding. i am a sucker for sweet delicacies hence just had to take a picture it.
the bride and groom on the pelamin. people lining up to congratulate the newly weds. you have to line up and greet the newlyweds first before dishing out. and apparently, u have to eat whilst standing up. According to my uncle, this is because the Indos lead very busy lives hence a wedding is the time to socialize. sitting down will restrict you from mingling around. they only provide chairs for the Malaysian crowd beacause we're not accustomed to culture.Kak Novi, hubster and the boys took the effort and time to bring the 4 Malaysian cuzzies to a karaoke session in the heart of Jakarta. that's Kak Novi beside me:)
everyone was so tired and sleepy but semua tanak mengaku kalah;)
this was the best way to end my Jakarta trip.

Jakarta, till we meet again
xxx

(click picture for bigger images)

of life.

2010-03-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

hi bloggy,
it's been eons since i last opened you.so many things i wanted to share but I had some serious case of blondness as i forgot your password.harharhar*slaps head*

i recently viewed this dude's blog and he happened to dedicate the blog to his deceased best friend. it moved me to tears, the stories he had with his buddy was so vivid and genuine that i could not hold back the tears. it was the kind of stories u share with ur loved ones.he talked about the routines they did together,the late night talks, the songs they hear, the inside jokes-things and stories u often share with ur good friend. he kept saying how much he misses his bestfriend, how unfair it was that his life ended so soon.

the way he composed the blog was as if the best friend was right in front of him. thus, it was more of spoken language rather than written language. and he uses present tense instead of past tense. it was as though the best friend was still alive and that made me 'boohood' even more.

his post was a reminder, an eye-opener that life is temporary.

i dont know how i would handle it if i was in his shoes.i cant imagine not having my loved ones by my side:'(

stop being a worry-er,and embrace the warrior in you..

2010-01-06T17:54:00.000-08:00

Classes has started.frankly speaking,i'm not happy.not because i don't enjoy my lessons and definitely not because i dont enjoy the catching up sessions with friends but because i have trouble sleeping. you see, during the holidays i would sleep at every possible occasion i can. i would have my afternoon nap time, evening nap time followed by me settling early at night.my good friends all know how much i love my sleep.

So here's the thing, when classes began,my brain had trouble adjusting to the new time table.i would worry over silly matters, sapping away my energy and thus leading my anxiety soaring.i couldn't shut my eyes leaving me teary-eyed and exhausted.i would force myself to sleep.going from one ritual to another just so i could travel to dreamland.up to a point where i had to take cough medicine and asking for sleeping pills from friends.to mk things even worse, i would often call my friends in the middle of the night just to tell them about my sleeping dillemma.i'm petrified as this is just the first week of the semester.wait till im bombarded with assignments and tests.aiyayai

Don't knock me on my face

2009-12-24T04:42:00.000-08:00

Not feeling too peachy lately. The tummy often does some serious somersaults and head throbs at loud noises whilst the eyes blink at the sight of neon ugly colours.

I am currently not in the best of shape nor mood. With the physique not adjusting well to the food and surrounding, the time of the month crashing, the departure of a good friend, the cold-shoulder treatment from someone from the past, the bickering/fighting from the sister. Yes, things are just swell for me..

I know I tend to pout and nag at the tiniest flaw and fault. I can be tiresome to hear at a point where one does gets truly annoyed and wants to punch my face. Thus, to save myself from having a black eye from fellow mates and family members, I shall result my nagging attribute by writing my soul out here in my blog. To those who are fed-up with my whiny persona, you can simply click the (x) button located at the far right of this page :)

hello december

2009-12-15T03:14:00.001-08:00

hello world.i have been neglecting writing for awhile.had crazy fun vacationing and exploring other parts of the world.dnt fret, i am back and will kick this blog with a vengeance.

im a bit rusty, and my spoken and written English language has gone terribly loony.(which i am not proud of). i reckon baby Tawfiq will soon have a better grasp of English than i do with this lazy rate i'm going. he now says words like 'sour' and 'technology'. (mind you, he's only 3)

he has become such a mischievious little goof who enjoys performing magic shows and being on my nerves. i start off my morning by him knocking on my door whislt screaming at the top off his lungs 'RISsEeeee and ShIiIiINeee Kak chikkk'.(not cute when ur sleeping)

okay that is it for now.will try to update more about my goings soon.oh and dnt u just hate those teenage kampung 'wannabes'. they think they're so coo' with their skimpy outfits and rempit boyfies.makes me wanna pull a Calista Flockhart

Friday the 13th

2009-11-13T18:06:00.000-08:00

Exams over.hu-rahhh! Celebrated freedom by having lunch at Ausmat with fellow mates and snoozed under the covers like a baby the whole evening. Later that night, went to Shed Restaurant with the family to celebrate Aunty Gina’s birthday. Food was edible but too oily for my liking. Besides, there was this annoying fat cat starring at me and my food. I was in fear thus did not enjoy dinner.(I have a fear for cats since little). Nonetheless, the adults liked it and could not stop praising the food and the relaxing ambiance the place has to offer.

Quickly rushed home to watch Nur Kasih on TV and hates Nur’s sister, Sarah more and more now. Gosh, she’s like a bug u just wish u could squash on. The way she moves, the way she talks, the way she portrays herself infuriates me.

Then there’s Aliya. Gosh, grow up dude. She needs to stop being a spoiled anak datuk and start acting like a wife. I Feel like giving her a vigorous shake.

That is all for now. Happy hols people :)

current random thoughts.

2009-11-09T02:18:00.000-08:00

tmrw is doom's day and yes, im still online thus makes me dead meat.what have i been doing this past 3 weeks?!why am i still online and blubbering here in written thoughts?!!

gosh,i need a hardcore hakdush.

i just cant wait for jkt.i need my retail therapy known as shopping.

going nuts over doc martens lately but the price is sky high.might as well get a job here to save up some moolah as to get my hands on those beauty.hubba hubba.

oh and i need new pants as well.preferably light blue slashed skinnies. (though i'm aware that my meaty legs aren't skinny pants size,i shall be optimistic and pray hard that my dreams and prayers of shedding some extra kilos will once and for all, be true.)fyi, i used to be really skinny back when i was in std 6.oh good old days...then hormones & food destroyed everything..damn you!

okay.enough blubbering.gotta head the books.tarra tarra now.

le love

2009-11-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

photos taken throughout the years.

Sayangs, I love all of you u to bits. Hos over Bros, anytime!

"See you and me have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, so we can pull on through, whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we'll make the best of what's around."
-Dave Matthews Band

music in my head

2009-11-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

Meet Me Halfway-The Black Eyed Peas

i know this song is overrated but i just can't help myself. i lovee lovee this track. The Black Eyed Peas has done it again.

Lyrics Meet Me Halfway

I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

Coo,I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
every single day yes, i'm really missin' missin' you
and all those things we use to use to use to do
hey girl, wuz up, it use to be just me and you
i spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
every single day, yes i'm really missin missin you
and all those things we use to use to use to do
hey girl wuz up, wuz up, wuz up, wuz up

meet me halfway, right at the borderline
that's where i'm gonna wait, for you
i'll be lookin out, night n'day
took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

girl,i travel round the world and even sail the seven seas
across the universe i go to other galaxies
just tell me where you want, just tell me where you wanna to meet
i navigate myself myself to take me where you be
cause girl i want, i, i, i want you right now
i travel uptown (town) i travel downtown
i wanna to have you around (round) like every single day
i love you always..way

can you meet me half way (I'll meet you halfway)
right at the borderline
that's where i'm gonna wait, for you
i'll be lookin out, night n'day
took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay
i can't go any further then this
i want you so bad it's my only wish
i can't go any further then this
i want you so bad it's my only wish

let's walk the bridge, to the other side
just you and I (just you and I)
i will fly, i'll fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)
i will try, until i die, for you and i, for you and i, for for you and i,
for for you and i, for for you and i, for you and i

can you meet me half way (yup yup)
can you meet me half way (yup yup)
can you meet me half way (yup yup)
can you meet me half way (yup yup)
meet me half way, right at the borderline
that's where i'm gonna wait, for you
i'll be lookin out, night n'day
took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay
i can't go any further then this
i want you so bad it's my only wish
i can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

i am tired of excuses

2009-10-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

I’ve been quite uneasy lately for reasons I don’t know why. Like I’ve been knocked down or rolled over by a big truck. I don’t know how to explicitly describe the feeling. I am perturbed. Therefore I shun myself from the likes of others. Not because I am socially retarded but because I’m battling with my inner self. This causes me to react and behave in odd ways.i-e-the cold shoulders.

u've got me high!:)

2009-10-26T01:21:00.000-07:00

so i lied. i have not been updating my blog.assignments and tests have been crazeyyyy hell and i didn't even hv time for myself and loved ones. not even gossip sharing moments at mamak with frens or fancy pansy restaurant outings with the grandparents

my bday was last tues, and truthfully, i was not in my festive facade.i didn't care if didn't get pressies or if i didn't get a bday cake.all i really wanted was to hibernate for hours long in my room. nonetheless, my bday turned out pretty awesome.bday wishes kept flowing and that made me smile 3 inches wide.and most importantly, i get to celebrate with the ppl i care about in life.i am a happy buffoon.

photos taken during celebration with the girlies

had red apple sorbet with water cress soup(soup was gobbled down in an instant, didn't get the chance to tk photos of it :p)

This was what sue and dot ordered.forgot the name.but the meat was tender( i could skin it off with my teeth) the gravy was thick and mashed potato was rich and buttery.yumm yummm.will definitely go for this next time around!

dot got me tiramisu cake, a wand, sparkle candles and a crown!:D
the staff sang happy bday in both, English and Malay versions and called me 'the queen' haha.funnneyh

the girlies<3 (taken frm sue's camera thus different resolutions from the othr photos)

the place and decorations are purrrdy.
this will be my engagement after-party location.hehehe

p.s->thank u for the wishes, bday cakes, pressies, bear hugs, wet kisses, movie date etc.love love love

rest for 10 mins, then i gotta study,study,study!

2009-10-01T23:30:00.000-07:00

i've completed my socio assignment. the feeling is overwhelming. since i hv no ink in my printer, i had to walk to the cc under the scorching sun whilst the men head to the mosque to perform their friday prayers thus i was hoping the cc would be empty or at least guy-less.

to my dismay, there were a couple of malay muslim guys at the cc just hanging around, checking their fb. i just find it rather insulting thus i just had to gv them the nasty look. they should have at least stayed at home or the hostel rather than parading themselves in public.gahh. some malay guys are just embarrassing.

anyway, this week has been busy, busy, busy for me and the rest of my mates too. next week, too will be a hectic week.

to-do list
saturday-sociolinguistics test
monday-cni microteaching, submit reading lesson plan
tuesday-submit creative writing portfolio.
wednesday-the last discussion for 1000 splendid suns, our group's presentation
thursday-study japanese,last day to ask ques before the final paper.

i think there's more, i just cant seem to recall..

oh and i think i flunked my reading test 2. my head just went blank.fcuk.

unpretty

2009-09-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

ive been really emotional l8ly.asyik2 nak tear up over such silly matters.aiyoyo.pastue mrh2 sambil nangis nak org pujuk.man,im such a big baby.

lpstue tido.aftr waking up im ok already.pastue rs really guilty tp malu nak ckp sorry coz i dont want to seem weak.*hak dush self*

I'm sorry!

man burok btul my perangai!

im mr.brightside

2009-09-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

My blog is half-dead.

will try my best to check u everyday.update u once in a awhile with my the latest happenings.maybe i'll even update your look.hmmn.maybe.anywhoo, raya is just around the corner, but we've been bombarded with shitloads of assignments. nevertheless, raya still comes first.i cant wait to fire-up those mercuns, play pop2 and be awed by bunga api. those twirling fire nvr fail to impress me.except for when i was in form 2, got severe asthma attack coz i got too excited with it and was sent to the clinic...

though i might be a bit blue this eid, seeing how i'm not going back to taiping and all my relatives are in aussie, the raya spirit is still very much alive in me. this time around, we'll be kicking this festive season with my mum's friends. and prolly celebrating it with my sa and uitm friends as well.

to new beginnings!

2009-08-18T03:27:00.000-07:00

yesterday's event brought me back to the past.old feelings came gushing back like waves crashing.how could i let someone treat me so low, so insignificantly embarrassing?how was i able to forgive and forget and move on, like everything's hunky dory?whilst the truth is, i am crying inside?how could i still carve a smile and secretly hoping for the better?how could i blame myself for defending the truth for i have not done anything wrong?

a friend once said to me 'respect yourself first and others would respect you' and that made me think deep about the past, the present and everything else.all these while, i cared so much about pleasing others that i forget to please myself.and because of such nature, people tend to stomped all over me and i'm tired and sick of it.

and so from now on, i would not allow anyone to kick, push,punch me anymore.i shall respect myself more, treat myself like the queen i desire because no one has control over me,my thoughts,my body, my mood other than myself:)

this is uncool.

2009-08-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

i am dead meat.please slice me into itsy-bitsy slices or put put me in the paper shredder.i am completely embarrassed of my actions.why laa i like to make a fool of myself?why cant i be cool, for once

i'm of to bury my head in my pillow now

one sloppy joe please.

2009-07-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

i feel the happiest when i'm at home, donned in my pajamas, hair pulled back in a bun,being a slop in front of the tv and running around the hse screaming at the top off my lungs "i'm the king of the world" with the baby.

dont get me wrong, i'm happy with my mates too.but when i'm all quiet and i start playing with my drink like it's the best game ever or laugh in fake manner,that is when i am least comfortable.it's not like i dont like u, it's just that i'm not in the mood and ur jokes dont seem to tickle my funny bone.on days like this, i prefer to stay at home. so if ur saying being a loner is being a loser,i would gladly take the title.it beats being fake, that's for sure.

so please forgive me if this post has offended you in any way. i just need a breather.please gime some time and space and i'll be a-okay in no time..it's not u,it's me.

i care about our earth.what about u?

2009-07-26T21:21:00.000-07:00

on rainy days like today.it is best if i whipped a dessert or two and make others happy.the dusty air has really dampen my mood, the body still aches from last saturday's event(tho it was super duper fun!).and the tongue has certainly lashed out several time.so to turn the frown the other way around, the best way is to stuffed the tummy with sweets.and seeing how many apples i took from g2ku,i think i shall bake apple muffins today!

actually, i wanted to write about the haze.seeing how moody i am these days, i rambled on and on about apples and desserts. see im doing it again.it's word vomit.anywayyy,i really cant stand the weather. the dusty air is making my eyes watery, the nose itchy, the manes limp, the tight chest, the sore throat.i feel like putting on a mask eventho i'm in the parameters of my home. i dont feel safe.yes, its that bad. i wish ppl would take a step back and stop hurting our mother earth.at times like this, i just feel like reading a .samad said's the dead crown out and aloud.lines after lines of that poem keeps going on and on in my head.

im no feminist

2009-07-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

hello written thoughts,

there's an issue that's been lingering at the back of my mind lately and that is loyalty. why cant guys be loyal and like/flirt/have a serious relationship with one girl at one time?i dont understand.why cant u just stick to one and cherish that one special one instead of playing the field.u think ur so cool to be breaking hearts?disgusting.

wait till the karma police attacks.

u people seriously need a bitch slap.

ready to rumble

2009-07-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

today is the third day of class and the head is already in a mess. i will:-

1)try my best to come early to class.

2)not skip any classes eventhough i am sleepy and tired.

3)do my assignments early.thus i shall not do stuff at the very end.

4)read notes beforehand so i would get a clear understanding of what is being taught

5)ask questions when i am unclear about certain issues.dont be a lazy bum.

6)read novels/literature texts early. then find more information on the net.

7)wear covered outfits to class. it is not fun to be called upon because of what one is wearing

8)help mother earth by riding public transportaion more often. eventhough it can be quite unreliable. stop relying on papa and mama to send u to class as it includes free nagging that can ruin one's mood.

9)save money. dont spulrge too much on food/clothing. eat lavishly when the tummy desires. buy stuff when you truly need it.not because u think u need it.

10)try to get a hold of the exam papers early.

inspired and ready to embark in this new journey,
the new aina:)

a trip to the east.

2009-07-04T01:28:00.000-07:00

waaa.it's been such a long time since i last posted something here.and with that, soo many things had happened. both good and bad. for starters, i went on a sarawak vacay with the grandparents. it was interesting to take a peek into other people's lives and to learn the cultures and traditions of the people of sarawak. they are warm, friendly humble people and never a shadow of doubt that i was not one of them. they treated me like they've known me their whole lives. so yea, numbers and e-mails were exchanged at the end of the trip:)

on the downscale, i was experiencing a major meltdown. i would cry every 5 minutes for no apparent reason. such behaviour/ emotions is no alien to me when that time of the month comes. i can be such an infant.

here are a couple of pics for the eyes to feast upon:-

she didnt know i was behind her.hahahha.

yes,i sumpit.i am superwoman.

hehe.

i totally looked the part yo.

2009-07-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah aina.stop it already.

enough is enough.

happy father's day!

2009-06-21T00:20:00.000-07:00

Since today is Father’s Day, I feel it is only right that I dedicate a post to my darling papa who is currently in Bali with my mom. Growing up, I was a hard kid to handle, always so rebellious, different from the rest of my siblings. I was indeed the black sheep of the family. Thanks for putting up with me and my ways papa! I love u!

the dad, the baby and yours truly.

the song in my head:)

2009-06-20T03:03:00.001-07:00

Rihanna feat Lady gaga-silly boy

Your callin me more than ever now that were done
Two keys back to my place, we were havin no fun
But your not ok, telling me you miss my face
I remember when you would say you hate my waist

I said im not coming back, its it
You fooled me once but you can’t have that ego turning
Just to bad for you, that when you had me
Didn’t know what to do, shes over you

Cause you had a good girl, good girl, girl
That’s a keeper, k-k-k-k-keeper
You had a good girl, good girl but
Didnt know how to treat her, t-t-t-t-treat her (treat her)
So silly boy get out my face (my face)
Why do you like the way regrets taste?
So silly boy get out my hair my hair
(get outta here)
No, I don’t want you no more (get outta here)

Silly boy (silly boy)
Why you acting silly boy?
Silly boy boy (boyboy)
Acting acting silly boy?

You comin with those corny lines
Can’t live without me
I’ll get some flowers for the day that you are buried
No, people make mistakes
But I just think your ass is fake
Only thing I want from you, is for you to (stay away)

I said im not coming back, its it
You fooled me once but you can’t have that ego turning
Just to bad for you, that when you had me
Didn’t know what to do, shes over you

Cause you had a good girl, good girl, girl
Thats a keeper, k-k-k-k-keeper
You had a good girl, good girl but
Didn’t know how to treat her, t-t-t-t-treat her (treat her)
So silly boy get out my face (my face)
Why do you like the way regrets taste?
So silly boy get out my hair my hair
(Get outta here)
No I don’t want you no more (get outta here)

No more, no more, no more (nooo ooohhh)
(oooh)

Silly boy (silly boy)
Why you acting silly boy?
Silly boy boy (boyboy)
Acting acting silly boy?

(yeahhh)

So silly boy get out my face (my face)
Why do you like the way regrets taste?
So silly boy get out my hair my hair
(Get outta here)
No I don’t want you no more (get outta here)

Silly boy (silly boy)
Why you acting silly boy?
Silly boy boy (boyboy)
Acting acting silly boy?

im an eating machine.

2009-06-15T01:30:00.000-07:00

The battle with the weight continues. I vow to myself every morning to not eat too much during the day and yet every day without fail, I fail to fulfill my promises. Le sigh.Im disappointed with myself. Especially during this holiday season when I’m home most of the time, I have nothing better to do but to check out cooking sites and whipped out new desserts and pigged out afterwards .alone and guilty. tsk tsk.

after being guilty for eating too much, I cycle. Konon konon nak sweat it out lah. After sweating for 15 mins on the cycling machine, my mind shifts to food yet again. I eat small portions of meals but countless times. Haih. Like that lebih baik, eat one big portion and get done with it.

When I login to facebook, I see all kinds of application involving food. Especially the big apple application where u can send donuts to friends.aaaaaaaaa. i crave for donuts nearly every day now. Haih. I will tell the baby about donuts and he will crave for it too. He will then throw a temper tantrum urging aunty gina to bring him to the donut place. Aunty gina, being a vulnerable ,caring yet clueless of my devious tactics will follow her son’s wishes and bring him there. This is where I tag along. Sneaky yet smart.

Suffice to say, this holiday has made me three inches wider.

mood:angry

2009-06-10T22:19:00.001-07:00

My parents really need to chill. like seriously. I’m a good girl, I don’t go clubbing, I don’t smoke, im not a social smoker. i don’t even go to events. I don’t drink heck I don’t even shisha now. Okay,u get my point.

All I do is hangout with my mates. Exchange gossips and jokes like everyone else. So when I get all excited and hyper around them, I tend to lose track of time. but still im not doing anything wrong. Moreover, I don’t drive so I hafta tumpang and depend on my friends as my means of transportation. Thus it really bugs me when my parents call and scream their lungs out urging me to head back home. Followed by a series of stupid and dumb questions/statements like “WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS”, “TELL THEM THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO COME OVER NYMORE”, “SUROH UR FRIENDS HANTAR U BALIK NOW” and MORE.

Take a chill pill please. I’m 21 years old. some of my friends my age are married for god’s sake. U want me to act like an adult and yet u still treat me like a child. Please la. Im not 14 anymore, u cant force me not to be friends with my best friends. It’s embarrassing enough that people label me as “the goody-goody”, “budak kecik” “tak bujang”. And for you to scream over the phone so the whole place can hear is just icing on the cake kannn?

Sumpah la.this is one of the reasons why I need to get out of shah alam. stuff like this really bothers me.

flexing my vocabulary

2009-06-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

tensiiii nye bler buka facebook dan tak dapat menoleh gambar kerna gambar tak keluar.tensi juga kerna k.shana dan 'groupies' nye(siti,azzam and azzam's fren)asyik halau saya dan tawfiq dari dapur dan asyik melontar statement statement yang agak kesat kepada saya.oleh yang sedemikian,saya tidak tahu apa nak buat di rumahhh.saya mahu keluarrrrrrrr dan berjoli.saya bingung deh.

perfect lunch menu.

2009-06-03T00:11:00.000-07:00

i want a roasted red pepper and mozzarella panini with double chocolate waffles with berries please?

accompanied with warm chocolate cake,flushed down with vanilla ice blended from coffee bean please please please?

then i shall work my arse off on the treadmill and chewed on celery sticks for the rest of the week.

it's a promise.

of boredom and voices.

2009-05-29T23:47:00.000-07:00

I wish I could sing like my sayang, her name is Farah( she thinks she’s Ning Baizura.hahahahahhaah) anywayyy, since it is my blog I shall not compliment her that much since it is after all, MY BLOG. so I shall talk about ME, ME and MOREEEEE ME! hehehehehehe.(narcissist much?) oh if only I had her voice and I would be able to swoon all the men with my singing voice instead of spaz-ing with them. If I had her voice, I would work part time singing and playing my guitar at a cool café like lepaq café. People would cheer on me and my friends would come and support me and I would dedicate my songs to people. Oh that would be cool.

Oh and check this out, my aunt has composed her own song and has put it on you tube. She wants me to tell my friends about it. just type in U changed MA world for the better.(I have no clue how to do the link thingie)

Oh also, she is searching for a singer to that new song. And that person might be YOU!

last night.

2009-05-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

we came home late last night after sending my mum to the airport.when we came home i quickly went straight to my pc to check my e-mails.suddenly outta nowhere,my maid came out of her room in her nightie, sobbing.she said someone stroke her arms and hair when she was sleeping and she could see a figure at the corner of her room.she said she didn't utter a sound coz she was too scared to do anything.so she kept quiet for quite some time.she swore that a man was in her room.i got scared,and went straight to my sister's room.instead of consoling my maid,my sister accused her of sleeping too much.

we called my dad who was upstairs on his cellie and told him what had happened to siti,my maid.by then siti couldn't even talk.she was crying heavily and words that were coming from her mouth were no longer words,they were mumbles.i told her to sleep with me that night since i, too got scared of her story.

i figured she would bring a tilam or something and sleep on the floor but i thought wrong.she went straight to my bed.i said to myself"takpelah,she had gone through a terrible night.just leave it lah" throughout the night, i could hear her still sobbing but i was too tired to get up to console her.oh and we were so close i think we even shared a pillow at one time.and i think i kicked her several times cause i'm not used to sharing a bed with people.

okey.that's about the most interesting thing that's happening to me right now.

inspiration.

2009-05-18T01:31:00.000-07:00

i've got a new hobby. a hobby which was developed during this holiday.drum roll please...i am now going gaga over fashion blogs.i especially adore reading this guy's blog.he goes around Milan,new york and paris and take snapshots of people on the streets.mostly people who have a passion for fashion.it is wildly inspiring.

they are normal people,from all ages and backgrounds, just like you and me but what differs them from us,or should i say myself is how neatly put together their pieces are.like this dude in his 60s who wore a printed small triangle jacket with shocking red handkerchief. so bizarre yet classy. and only a certain people can pull it off.le sigh.if i were to wear the exact outfit, i would definitely look like walking canvas in the streets of shah alam and be sent to fashion police.

will update more on this newly found interest.

2009-05-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

the waiter at kedai kopi 2 sangat comel!hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi

love advices from moi!

2009-05-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

Some of the people around me are suffering from deep depression from the opposite sex, men. At times, I really do feel like they are from mars. They just don’t seem to get us. Now someone close to me is going down that same path. And it just reeks knowing how much she’s suffering. She has seen me crumble soo many times before and now the tables are turned.

I’m no love guru heck im nowhere close to that title. But here’s what I’ve learned in the process to mend the heart. There are six stages to the road to recovery. (I read it somewhere) they are:-

1^st stage - denial.

2^nd stage-anger

3^rd stage-negotiation

4^th stage-depression

5^th stage-solitude

6^th stage-back to life.

im not gonna elaborate on the stages as i shall keep you figure them out yourselves.keep in mind, that what you are going through is normal.so cheer up yea!

(I’m currently at the solitude stage and frankly speaking, I’ve never been happier.:))

To all the broken hearted ladies out there, go and watch the movie ‘He’s not that into you’. The movie is an eye opener and don’t forget to bring tissues whilst watching the movie. It’ll move you to tears. Im talking about hard core crying.

Oh and keep this quote in mind “why make someone a priority in your life if you are just a choice to him” My mama taught me that.

the ancient tag game

2009-05-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

syeikh and nash both tagged me a looong time ago.here goes....

The rules are simple.
~Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 6 people...

i am:

very bored

i really want to go:

shopping paradise, Hong Kong

and...

the loo.i need to do number one asap.hehe

my favourite place is:

my home:)

my favourite drink:

coffee bean's ice blended vanilla.

my favourite food:

anything soupy!

my favourite color:

purple makes me purrr~

my favourite show:

FRIENDS:)

my hobbies:

sleeping and dreaming

my wishes:

lifelong happiness.wooot woot

i would like to tag:
those who have not done this

gibberish.

2009-05-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

this past few days has been off the hook yo.first the pikuniku,then saf's visit to shah alam and yday the girls planned alia's secret bday gateway to malacca.yes, u heard it right.we went to flippin MALACCA!it was super duper friggin dippin awesome(excuze moi,im out of adjectives)

my semester break mission:catch up with the latest goss with my schoolmates, watch all the movies i've missed during the semester, colour hair, shop till i literally drop, clean drawers and closet, paint the window panes off white,buy shidot's pressie, learn how to cook main dishes.

happy hols everyone!drive safe,holler if u come to sa yea!

the first day of holiday

2009-05-07T00:36:00.000-07:00

I love my grandma to bits but sometimes she drives me to wits end. like just now, I was happy having my afternoon nap, when she came barging in my room and started cleaning it. She brought in her candle stick, mugs and cocktail shaker with her and started throwing all my bags on the floor which were on the shelves and subsequently replaced all my bags with her stuff. Have I no say to what I want and don’t want in my room anymore? Aiyaiya.

I love how it looked previously despite it being topsy-turvy and all; at least it reflected my personality. Now it looks like a living room.oh blimey

pre-holiday preparation

2009-04-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

the heart feels like it's been hit so many times already.it burns.

a huge part of me is hype about the semester break.but the other huge part is scared and wants time to move as slowly as possible.

nana is leaving on a jet plane.na,though we bicker a lot, u know i've got ur back and u've got mine.not seeing u for one whole friggin year would be devastating.i cant imagine not seeing u for a whole week,but now ur going for one whole year!who's going to text everyone to lpk?and what about raya?not having our raya together?!dont get me started on bday's:'(

this is starting to get a wee depressing

why cant things be the way i want:(
oh babyyyy,this holiday is going to be hard.i feel it in me bones.

p-p-pppp-oker face

2009-04-24T06:05:00.000-07:00

aiyo.in the midst of exam week,i am able to fall sick.my eyes are super duper puffy and looked as though i've been crying nights long.(which i haven't ok)my nose is red like bozo the clown, voice coarse like a man trying hard to be a woman.oh and what else, i have not been studying due to the fact that my head is spinning round and round which leads me to sleep for hours long.im not fit to meet people either coz my runny nose keeps on running and that requires me to hold a tissue against my nose.and at times, pieces of the tissue gets stuck to my nose and i often don't realize it making me looked like a complete dufus.this is how i see it, the tissue is like the paper and my hingus as the glue.i reckon the humid weather plays a significant role for this illness i'm having.

im praying tomorrow i'll be better so i could finally switch on to my geeky mode and bury my head deep in my books.

adios amigos and gambatte kudasai everyone!

i wanna get out.

2009-04-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

i suddenly feel like getting out of shah alam, out of my comfort zone and go somewhere faaaaaaar.i have been living here all my life,every corner, road, building, section has it's own significance to me.this is the place where i grew up in. friendships, tales , stories, events were all based in my sleepy town.my past was carved in this land i called home.i love everything about it, despite it being a tad boring without cinemas or big shopping complexes.

so i think it is time that i say goodbye to those memories i built here and start collecting new ones someplace else.i feel it is my time to grow.so with that,i think i shall apply the internship application and insya Allah i can soar my wings in the land of opportunities right after i have finished my degree.

pep-talk

2009-04-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

omg aina.get a hold of yerself.u got a test tmrw and all ur thinking about is shopping!u bought four pairs of shoes, 2 bags, a couple of accessories and wasted soo much money in the past 3 days and u want moreeeeeeeeeeeeee stuff?sgt membazir.stop being so shallow and start concentrating on tmrw's paper.u can splurge later on after ur finals but now u gotta study,study,study.

i know when u shop, all ur worries are drown the drain and it's just the happiest feeling.but keep in mind, that the happy feeling is temporary.so stop wasting your money and start concentrating.

sumpah malas giler nak buat pte

2009-04-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

my hse is currently under construction.my toilet included.yabedabeedooo!!but what bugs me is a bunch of grown-ups in my parameter,discussing really loud and not knocking before entering.ishh.i'm a girl, i need my own privacy, a lil heads up before entering would be good.so when my room is in a mess, i could tidied it up beforehand.u can enter my space anytime u want but all I'm asking is for u to give me an hour's notice so i could do justice to it.kapish?:)

p.s-my grandma got me this really cute mirror for my loo.it's tres chic even for a mirror.currently going bananas over it.hihihi.

we were both young, when i first saw u

2009-04-11T03:29:00.000-07:00

nash's post inspired me to write about my first 'boyfriend'.hahhaa.well,where do is start.we were both 13,we live in the same neighborhood, i was in the first class and he was in the last, i was a prefect and he was the bad boy.i didn't even like him at first, my sister thought he was cute so i copied and i liked him as well.haha.

i cant remember how we became an 'item' but i rmbr walking to school with him everyday,not saying a word to each other.hahha.we would stroll together along the school's corridor so the whole school would know we were an item.he's best friend lives across my hse and so we would spy on each other on friday nights(homework-free day) from our hses.when i see him him looking at me, he would duck and switched off his lights and i would do the same.it was hilarious but adorable.

and for my 13th bday, he gave me a dolphin glass thingy and i thought it was really cute.i still have the dolphin but it's now dusty and being kept in my drawer.i really did like him, he was always there protecting me when ppl made fun of me. ppl nicknamed aina gedik growing up but he didn't care.

time went by,feelings changed, people changed, we broke up.i moved on to other guys and so did he with other girls.so here i am now, 8 yrs later, in my nightie, reminiscing about the first guy who stole my heart;)

p.s-pah, he's a syed*wink nudge nudge*

that means i cant twirl my hair anymore!

2009-04-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

i had this wicked idea of cutting my hair dead short. super-duper short.like a guy's length.
one of my guy friends told me that if i were a boy, i'd be handsome and to achieve that, i have to sacrifice my hair.

i'll be a dude with a high-pitched voice who giggles every second.

hmmmn,that wouldn't be soo attractive now, would it?

greetings earthlings.

2009-04-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

one more journal to go and i'm freeee.feel like blubbering something out here in cyberspace world but got nothing on my mind except thoughts of my aching ulser, rumbling tummy, and the last journal.oh and my cuz's bday.

saf, i cant blive ur 21!though ur there in down under and i'm here in the hot sunny weather, i'm soo proud of u.we've gone through so much together, fights, break-ups,hook-ups, deaths, divorces, cookoo maids, runaways, celebrations, corny crushes, goodbyes, hellos, secrets, vacays, bitching, pulling each other's hair out, embarrassing moments and so much more!

i love u cuz

eyh wait, i just realized the line 'ur there in down under and i'm here in the hot sunny weather' actually rhymes.haha.

yay or nay?

2009-04-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

at times i really wish i was a tape recorder.so i could rewind, stop and start anew*hak dush*

2009-04-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

oh no.this semester is coming to an end. u guys will be going back to your hometown soon and sa will be so quiet without all of u:/

i will esp. miss micro teaching-i had so much fun being the student.i can actually imagine u guys in action.nash the cool teacher, k.own the garang one, safwan the goofy science teacher, mry the creative stylish teacher and syafrein the 'konon konon' garang teacher tp tak jd and everyone else.i enjoyed every minute of it:))

xxxx

quit already

2009-04-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

urghh.i hate her.i hate her.i hate her soo much.so what if i wear shorts outside.what if i suck at ironing.what if i gv food to my frens.who cares.who actually gives a shit about wht i do.u dont have the right to tattle about me to everyone u know.u try to be all innocent and dumb in front of others but the truth is ur actually not,ur this conniving betch.urgh.geramnye.

stop talking about me coz i dont give a rat's arse about u.

in a mess.

2009-04-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

im in a dazed.my mind is swirling in a circle.i reallly reallly realllly cant wait for this term to end.i cant wait for this friday to come so i can finally let loose and think straight once more.ive been really bad these couple of days,i've hurt the ppl i care about and i feel horrible about it.when there's too many things on my mind, i go haywire.i talk nonsense and spread such negative vibe onto them.and i wanna go threading coz my eyebrows's friggin bushy and cut my hair coz i now look like a banshee and i wanna shed some extra kilos coz i've been eating a lot.i say i m on a diet but i ate a whole friggin cake.not a slice but a whole cake.which is equivalent to 5 ppl's servings.and i wanna focus and actually read remains of the day coz i got a test this monday but i cant coz everytime i try to read i'll eventually sleep.

oh poo:(

i need more money

2009-04-03T05:31:00.000-07:00

i'm beginning to hate digi.grr.abis duit org je.topup rm 10, 4 msgs later and they say my kt is less than rm 2.stupid la like this.dhlh i'm running outta money,i need to run errands and be in contact with ppl.what they think im rich ke.boleh topup everyday.fyi, i live on rm 2 daily.i try my best to save my moolah.grr.nak tukar to maxis la cam nie

what have i become

2009-04-02T21:44:00.000-07:00

Today started off on a rough start. but the most sinful act I’ve conducted so far was me being an arse, not giving my bus seat to the old, Chinese lady, carrying a handful of stuff.I wanted to stand up and tapped on her shoulder and give her my seat but a part of me was too lazy to get up plus I didn’t wanna look like a suck-up in front of other passengers and I also had the dumb mentality that why should I be that person who gives her seat, why not others? As the bus started moving, I felt bad. If everyone were to think and behave the way I did, the world is really going upside-down. Urgh. Why should I even care what they think of me, I won’t see them again, let alone meet them. I can be such an arse at times.

oh what have i become:/

on to a cheerier note, Ive received my very first online purchase and now i'm on a mission for more

personality test

2009-03-28T04:24:00.000-07:00

I did a personality test and here's the result.most of them are true.creepy ey

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

profit>tiredness.

2009-03-27T04:46:00.001-07:00

the spca event went well. despite being tired, sore and a bit annoyed about certain incidents,i could conclude that it was a success.for those who came and supported us,a big thank u to all of u:)))
i really appreciate u guys stopping by the booth and buying the cookies and melted kek batek.i seriously do not know how to make the kek batek keras.

on to another story, i'm abit bummed that spa q has ended.i have to admit that at times i do feel a bit ticked off with some of the characters. Nevertheless the show has the ability of making me glued to the tv screen, eyes popping, mouth open wide, saliva drooling. It provides me or us viewers a glimpse of the twisted tale in the lives of the rich and famous. Besides that, the show is something my mum and I share. That one hour show is the only time we would hang and talk. So yea, I guess you could say it’s a mother-daughter thang.

i hear the new telenovela is not bad either.but hmmmn I guess I’ll just wait and see.

malasnya nak g fac tmrw

2009-03-22T06:15:00.000-07:00

i currently have body cramps all over my body due to baking and stirring.i can practically feel muscles forming in my right hand and thus i really reallly hope our booth this tues, 'when my tummy rumbles' will be a success.i'm praying that it can cover our expenses, energy, time and effort.

so please support us this tues.we will be at foyer engineering.i repeat foyer engineering.not dc okay.

dh tak larat sgt dh nie.i feel like im about to passed out.

p.s-i now know i crack under pressure.bummer:(

p.s.s-a little birdie went back today.i called him so many times today on his cellie, but he didn't pick up.i miss him terribly already.double bummer:(

boo you

2009-03-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

so what if someone rejects u and just dont find u that attractive.not bcoz of ur appearance but just because.that she'd rather treat u as a friend and nothing more.it doesn't mean u have the right to be a tart.

2009-03-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

i'm scared.i might just pee in my pants.

fugly

2009-03-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

my level of bitchiness is currently at a disturbing stage.too many jobs to be done, too little time.the ugly really does win over me.sorry guys,if i have snapped, lashed out, boss u around or the followings. i have sinned and im not proud of it.i don't care if u dont like me verry much rite now, i dont fancy myself right now either.

maybe a pair of good looking shoes would do the trick.preferably silver peep-toe, ankle length shoes like the one in my dreams.or a cute, flowy dressy top or a small fancy pansy leather bag.yess,those would definitely toned down the bitch in moi.

oh and today is herne's bday.happy birthday darling!jomlah celebrate like last time.everyone's soo tensed these days, a get together is exactly what we need:)

the tag game

2009-03-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

1) Copy badge "2009 Cute's Blogger Award" at my blog .

2) Link/Ceritakan kembali siapa yang memberikan award ini kepada anda.

3) Setiap blogger mesti menyatakan 10 fakta/hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award seterusnya (anda di-tag).

4) Anda perlu memilih 5 penerima award seterusnya dan menyatakan nama mereka di blog anda.

5) Jangan lupa melawat blog kawan anda dan meninggalkan komen yang menyatakan mereka telah ditag.

2)nash and yana gave me this award.oh thank u guys!i think it's only fair if i write about them both.

i knew nash right after form 5, she was my colleague at kumon.we would have office-breaks together but that was it.we became closer beacuse of tesl. and ever since my first day at uitm, she has become one of my closest girlfriends.my first impression of nash is 'this grl looks soo garang'(because she had glasses on) but boy was i wrong!

i first met yana at the tesl interview.she sat beside me but i didnt talk to her, and when i first saw her during mms, i rembered her being stylish, having a style of her own.because of her bold fashion sense, i remembered telling shahrir how the people in uitm dressed like wahida,the singer.hehe.yana's loud, has her own mind but down-to-earth and is head over heels with her other half.

3)10 facts about yours truly
1-my cooking skill has reached an alarming stage
2-i will work my arse out knowing i have gained a pound
3-i love kids
4-im a lazy bum
5-had no friends at 10 yrs old(my only friends at tht time were my sister and cuz, safiyya)
6-a movie buff
7-currently trying my best to get as many certificates as possible
8-im into dressy tops.
9-i still wear retainers at night
10-i have permanent braces/metal thingy stuck at the back of my teeth

4) i tag-
1-teddy
2-nadhirah
3-pah
4-pana
5-midin

no more drama please.

2009-03-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

Can I please have one good day? The pressure is having its toll on me and I can’t bear it any longer. I guess when one’s tired, the ugly does get its way out. One after anthr, problems are unsolved, matters are brushed aside and im scared I aint got no more hands to bear them all. all I’m asking is for me to have one good day.

The only thing that’s making me feel all pumped up again is ally’s bday. Though it is in April, a month away, the thought of shopping for the party, the hunt for her pressie and decorations can make me go bizarrely happy.

*i feel like putting ally's picture here*

alia, your bash is the one and only thing that's making me joie de vivre

disturbia

2009-03-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

1)where's the line that distinguishes flirty and friendly?
2)why cant i seem to do my lit and media assignment?
3)why cant i sleep these days?sleep i miss thee
4)why does my tummy keep doing these weird somersault sounds?
5)how do one remain poise and at the same time say no?

argh.the dilemma.

of love bug and backache

2009-03-06T01:21:00.000-08:00

i woke up with the happiest feeling.i dreamt jay z was my lover(and no,beyonce wasn't in the picture)and i sat on his lap and we giggled and talked and i played with his arm and it was heaven.pure heaven.heheehe.

that dreamy feeling lasted the whole morning.then when afternoon came, my back became so sore, so sore that i wasn't able to stand up straight and had to sit with a pillow behind me.the soreness kinda feels like the one you would get before+during your period.rasa cam nak tergolek-golek.but the thing is my time of the month just ended so it cant be it,can it?

i don't know how to ease the pain so i popped a few gastric pills.i hope i'll be okay soon.

oh and i'll be going to malacca this weekend,i have to be a facilitator for my mum's workshop.i'm praying business students are as friendly as tesl's;)

hubba hubba

2009-03-04T03:07:00.000-08:00

why hello there handsome

*wipes a pool of drool off the floor*

come lah, support us

2009-03-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

my friends and i will be opening a booth on the 24th of march 09 at dataran cendekia(*i dont how to spell this).u know, the one near mawar, the courting spot for lovebirds and starving mawar-ians.we'll be opening a dessert booth, so for those who have a sweet tooth, be sure to join in the fun.we will be selling big-sized choc chip cookies, colourful cupcakes, sweet pies and loads more, all at a very reasonable price:)

datang tauu

kisses.

i shall find u a name

2009-03-03T06:12:00.000-08:00

My computer is finally working again. hip hip hooray! I am now able to open my facebook and blog with harmony. With the computer finally working again, I vowed to myself, the computer and everyone else, that I shall take excellent care of the computer from now on, despite it being ancient.

Oh how I missed the eeee sound u make when I switch u on, your yellow screen and the way you get jammed from time to time Though I often bicker about you, losing you these couple of days has been traumatizing. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

I now see these quirkiness of yours as unique and original.

the song says it all

2009-03-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

heeee.i cant belive i did what i did.ive nvr seen this side of me before.teeheeheee.

*blushes*

u've been missed

2009-02-25T21:01:00.000-08:00

sorry bloggie for being too busy for u.being without u has been terrible,i've got no one to bitch to coz u know,i tend to word-vomit at times.i am now having the most annoying sore throat.it's a tickling sensation at the back of my mouth and it is uber annoying.(i havent used uber in such a long time)i feel like giving it a hard pang.oh and my computer has gone senile.i cant even switch it on,my whole family blames it on me coz i'm the only one who uses it and coz i tend to switch it on with my toe but hey,my toe needs it's regular wriggle too!and none of my family members wants to lend me their lappie/pc.pffft.talk about being stingy.so if i have assignments that needs to be done, i have to go to my mum's office, the lab or cc.toodle dee doo.i wanna do research for my lit journals.

p.s-i havent read korang's blogs in such a long time.keep me updated yea.

of love and appeciation.

2009-02-13T03:45:00.000-08:00

as i arrived home from fac this morning, i was being ushered to the car by k.shana. she said we were having lunch at this posh Spanish restaurant at jalan telawi.i had no time to change,so i wore my small purple baju kurung, the one i wore to class this morning for lunch.i looked D-R-E-A-D-F-U-L.

anyway on the way to our destination, we chatted in the car,i just love hearing stories about tok baba and tok bubu back when they were younger. tok baba has always been a rebel, even during those days.he used to be soo naughty with the girls now makciks,always trying to make tok bubu jealous,he made pranks on cops and had the time of his life being the mischievous him. tok bubu on the other hand has always reminded me of the Queen in the princess diaries.she had an aura of a lady.back when i was younger,i really thought she was of royalty blood.growing up,she was the one who taught me how to be a lady.how to sit,eat and present yourself graciously.though i don't act all lady-like with my mates, i somehow will change persona whenever i'm around my grandma.

in a way,i feel lucky being pampered by my grandparents.my parents are a tad diff.my dad has always been a bit stringent when it comes to giving me the green note.even if i crave for something cheap like hot dog, the money will be withdrawn from my pocket money.mama's a bit lenient,thank god!back to tok ba and tok bu, they have always been there for me.sometimes i feel i could just hang out with my grandparents and still be me. this is rare as i just dont fit in with the elderly.my grandparents are always pampering me with lavish meals,clothing and such. when my parents and i butt heads because of certain issues, they are the ones to the rescue. when i was a kid, i had attempted to run away from home so i would be raised by my grandparents.haha.

p.s-i actually wanted to write about my lunch and the shops i went to but was misled somehow.toodle deee doo.have a fun romantic Saturday,guys!ooh and i have no idea what wrong with my English these days.its disastrous.HELPPP MEE!

urgh.

2009-02-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

i wasted 4 hrs for nothing.NOTHING!im soo pissed at the lousy admin and their non-existence memo. i wasted a perfectly good morning.stupid nyeeee

beauty.

2009-01-29T01:10:00.000-08:00

just got back from Surabaya,Indonesia.the trip was the BOMB.a holiday with family and friends is exactly what i needed after last week's event.it was a holiday filled with love,laughter,cheap bargains,miang indon guys,cramped feet,beautiful mother earth and fiesty indon delicacies.ooh and i reckon my body isnt fit for a holiday outside sleepy town,sa.face gets really oily,straightened hair goes either wild or flat-out straight,tummy gets a wee bit bloated.heehee.nevertheless,a holiday isnt the time where looks are one's biggest concern kan kan kannnnnnnn?

anywhoo,i was obsessed with my ka-ching.i brought my handy scientific calculator everywhere i went.everything above rm 10 was considered pricey and dead-expensive.hence,i didnt splurge that much on this recent trip.every rupiah item i saw,i would times it with 1000,then divide it with 3.if it's worth it,then i'll get it,if not,then its sayonara boys.

i've learned and gained soo many things in the past 5 days.a couple of adjectives cant do justice to what i've experienced.okay,i sound all tesl-ish and geeky there*big geeky snort*

at the islamic market.had to cover up when entering.loads of tourists and beggars.

mount bromo.we rode our own personal horses on the way up.the journey was thrilling.i urged the pak untuk perlahan-lahan membawa my horsey named kabir kerna saya gerun.(note the fake accent)ooh and the day after we went to mount bromo,the volcano erupted.scarrry ey?

watched the sunrise at 4.it was freezing cold,i wore 5 tops.

the kids,my old friends,family friends.fyi,that aint my tummy,that is of 5 layers of tops

screw him.

2009-01-20T20:06:00.001-08:00

im boiling with anger.that jerk cancelled on me,again.big surprise there.i hate him sooo much.he's the sole reason why i cant seem to like other men.coz i dont wanna go through that all over again. i hate him soo much.i hate me for ever liking him.i hate me for looking looking forward to tonight.i shouldve known better.i hate him.he treats me like shit and i keep falling for him.

screw him.

celebration.

2009-01-17T23:57:00.000-08:00

this is my 100th post.woot woot.yday i checked i had 97 posts posted.this morning, an additional 2 unknown posts were written in this blog.this proves that written thoughts<3 is not fully sound in the head.err,i mean mother board.

this blog has gone through a lot with me,from my pre days till now.so this my tribute to my very own written thoughts.if u were alive, i swear i'd marry u by now:))

happy 100th!

on a lazy tuesday evening

2009-01-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

as i was lying down in tawfiq's room whilst playing sudoku on my phone,the baby came and hugged me.he then said' i love my bestfriend'.he calls me his best friend and i proclaim the same.that little gesture of his truly made my day.i know i could always rely on the baby for therapy.im just hoping he'd stay small so we would be best friends foreverrrr and everr.like how i used to say it to my then best friend when i was still a kid,with our pinky fingers locked against each other

then

now

aint time flies fast?

just face the music

2009-01-11T02:15:00.000-08:00

Twas a good day till it was my turn to play. Why I decided to play, it’s beyond me. I know I wasn’t ready yet the urge to know kept roaring. Like a friend once wrote, wrong move stupid fool.

come,join in the fun

2009-01-10T17:53:00.000-08:00

good morning people:)

my sister is organizing 'books&looks' fair at law faculty,uitm from tomorrow(12/1/09) till wednesday(14/1/09).i'll be selling cookies and clothes together with my cousin.please buy from us okieee?all our profits will be donated to the gaza fund.lets play our part whilst having a blast shall we?

venue:law foyer,uitm shah alam
time:8.30am till 5pm
date:monday(12/1/09)-wednesday(14/1/09).(our booth will be operating only on monday)
aim:to raise money for our brothers and sisters in gaza

p.s->those who are interested in opening a booth,please e-mail me at aina.azhar@yahoo.com

hope to see u guys there !

u wont understand this if ur a guy

2009-01-10T04:47:00.000-08:00

Menses. I hate it when it comes every single month. No, I’m not talking about the excruciating pain. I’m talking about the emotional ride that comes with it. There are girls who goes through it very well with smiles. Others would cry at the beginning or before it happens. Than there’s my kind, the ones that would cry before, during and after. Every tiny bit can cause distress and soon it becomes a helluva rollercoaster ride. I’d cry when the baby cries, when people condemn my cooking, when friends can’t have dinner with me, when I read the papers and see such inhuman acts.

So guys, if u have sisters, friends or even gfs that u care about, and u happen to know that their time of the month is approaching, be a sweety and treat them with the upmost gentle, loving care that a guy can offer. Prove to us, girls that chivalry is still very much alive:)

i wanna go to lgkw with saf and mona!

2009-01-03T02:48:00.000-08:00

Not to be a whiny brat or anything but I’m not feeling too peachy these past few days. I feel like throwing up, I have this ringing buzz in my ears; I still have a man’s voice due to the sore throat. oh poo. I tried to cheer myself up with creamy cheese cake and even that didn't help my aching body.im worried, it’s been quite some time now.

I eat such delicious meals yet I feel like throwing up. and I don’t wanna throw up. but it seems as though my body doesn’t respond well to food these days. Please help me. Please let me have my appetite back and give me energy. Please cure my throat so I don’t sound like a she-man albeit it’s sexy.

aaah and the title->i wanna go to lgkw with saf and mona and go on an island exploration with them.that'd be soo much fun.and i just love langkawians.they're so polite and friendly.ahhh if only i can skip classes for just a couple of days.that would be super!

the last day of 08

2008-12-31T18:34:00.000-08:00

New Year's eve was the shiz, yo! It was heaps of fun all day long. I was laughing like a hyena the whole day, both with my UITM and Shah Alam buddies. Head swaying from side to side, hands all over the place, mouth wide open kinda laughs. (Not a good sight, trust me) We were a bunch of drunk hooligans in the streets of Shah Alam. What better way to kick start this year with the people I love around me.

Darlings, thank you for making the opening of 2009 a memorable one for me!

I love you all

2008-12-30T21:04:00.000-08:00

im in my whiny+emotional mood.pls bare with me yea?

2008-12-30T06:19:00.000-08:00

nak muntah makan byk sgt for dinner tadi.pening kepala coz there's smtg wrong with my pc.the colour of my screen is yellow.sgt sakit mata.if this continues,tanak switch on the net dah lah.thus written thoughts will be on hiatus mode for now.sedih pula rasanya:(

tmrw nite is new year's.i feel like celebrating this year but me mates dont feel like it.the boys have parties to attend to.i guess it'll be you and me baby.like always.maybe i shall write down some of my new year's resolutions.and try to stick with it this time.

speeches

2008-12-29T02:50:00.000-08:00

i suck at impromptu speeches.i do,i really do.when out of the blue, someone calls my name asking me to gv a speech in front of a crowd,i automatically become this giggly chicken.it's embarrassing i tell ya.E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-S-I-N-G!

lemme give u a couple of my tummy-flipped thwarting impromptu speeches i've experienced:-

18 yrs old,pre-degree part 2

Had this seminar mdm maftuhah forced us to attend. We were the eldest participants there,the rest were still in high school or should I say they were still babies. Half way through the seminar, half of our classmates left. I think they went to klcc. Anyway ,the rest of us stayed.and to our dismay, they started picking out candidates randomly to gv a speech in front of everyone. They’d give a random topic and expect you to gv your 2 cents about it. And because of that, I purposely chose a sit in front, near the speaker so the ‘kakak’ wont pick me but nooooo.she just had to pick me. She went past the speaker and quickly shoved a paper in my hand.ooh and I rmbr herne telling me that she had a feeling I’d be chosen. and boy was she right.oh well, lucky me. I got a topic entitled ‘popularity’. As I went up, I saw my mates grinning with encouraging eyes and smiles carved on their cute faces. And me being me, I started speaking gibberish with both my hands flying all over the place. I cant really rmbr what I said. But i rmbr touching on proms and handbags with loads of ‘likes’ in between. when I saw the audience’s puzzled looks, I said ‘u may think im a blonde or a bimbo but im not ok’and the crowd burst into fits of giggles.I seriously don’t know what got into me. why oh why did I say that.grr.embarrasing.

20 yrs old.yesterday.2 days before entering part 4(yesterday)

Yesterday was tok baba and tok bubu’s 50^th wedding anniversary.we held the ceremony at my hse. We sat in a circle as my uncle recited a few dua’s and nasihat about marriages. suddenly he started calling each and every one of us to give a speech on my grandparents.i sat behind k.shana thinking I could hide behind her and get away with it.and again,I was wrong.when my name was called, I nearly wet myself. I dunno how I looked,but I must have given a petrified look coz my cuz’s started laughing.(thanks guys,you guys are really supportive*note sarcasm*).I can rmbr my exact speech since it’s till fresh in mind:-

“assalamualaikum everyone.Tok ba and tok bu,thank you for everything.i appreciate the times we ‘ve spent together. the shopping sprees, the trips, the holidays, the dinners, the lunches, the tea breaks. I know I can always rely on the both of you when I need someone. With the both of u,I feel as tho.i could talk about anything from dishes,recipes,food,islam to boyfriends.and with that,I thank u”

Ok.that wasn’t so bad but I still feel I could’ve done better.grr.especially at the end.when I uttered boyfriends,I saw my dad adjusting his seat as sign of uneasiness.hahhahha.that was funny.but on a more serious note, I really do talk abbout boyfriends with them.seriously.and i do want to polish my speeches,esp impromptu ones.my English sucks, man.

Ok.i wanna go next door and play with my best friend, the baby.toodle dee doo.

(I just hafta include this.my parents are making out like crazy rite now.they think im not looking but I am.erk.disgusting.the sight of them kissing still gv me the shivers)

pink.

2008-12-28T00:15:00.000-08:00

i feel inspired and accomplished.these sudden emotions are due to the fact that i,aina shazea bt saiful azhar has successfully painted her room.i mean,my room.it's now salmon pink and dark pink(yes u heard it right,it's pink!)i've always wanted a girly room and voila i got one now!my previous room was quite girly but the walls were soo dull,so white,so boring.oh and i have also re-decorated my room.changed some of the furnitures positions,threw some stuff,bought some stuff as well just to add more zest to it.

my room looks soo different now.i cant believe how a new colour can add a whole new feel to my humble abode.seriously.like this morning,i woke up and i thought i was somewhere else.the first thought that sprung in my pening head was that i was at nana's.coz her room's pink too.it took me several minutes to actually realize that i was actually at home.hehe.

i am now scouting for a black and white big picture to put against my featured wall.u know just like eva longoria has in desperate housewives:P.i am hoping my aunty gina would voluntarily paint one for me.teeheeheee.i dont wanna be too forward though.i know she is going through a hard time with her operations and all.i wish her all the best.maybe she can paint one for me in the future?*hint hint*

i shall upload some pictures of my 'new' girly room one of these days.insya Allah.

till next time.

bad day

2008-12-25T05:54:00.000-08:00

i did something really bad today.wait.i did a couple of really bad things that im not proud of today and fuck,its not a good feeling(pls excuse my language.i swear when im upset)i feel like babbling all these to someone but heck,i dont really have anyone except u and my diary.usually i would turn to shahrir for comfort tp takkan lah everytime something goes wrong i'd turn to him.he's my ex-boyfriend for heavens sake.

and that feeling of not having anyone to talk to sucks.big time.

if only there's an invention where one could go back in time,today would definitely be one of those days.

rasa cam nak nangis je.babi lah.im big enough to not cry over petty things like this.i can go through this without shedding a single tear.its all my fault pon..i deserve to feel the way i do now.

serves me right.

bye bye year

2008-12-23T21:56:00.000-08:00

2008 is coming to an end.frankly,im bummed.being the bum bummer i am,i'm bummed(just feel like rhyming there.hehe).being a year older means more responsibilities which will then result in more chaos and commotion.

2008 can be considered a good year for me.ive learned so many things, explored many ventures,went through a whole series of ups and downs,met great people and etc.but the prominent aspect I want to highlight here is that I believe I am a much wiser person than I was before.

The ‘good’ people I once believed was ‘all that’dosent seem so good after all.all this while,I saw what I wanted to see.this year I learn to unravel both the good and bad of people. I’m a tad disappointed I must say,but hey, im just a kid,they say.

Ive learned about myself too.ive learn to accept the person I am,flaws and all.and when Ive succeeded in that field,I believe I am a much happier person.i do things that makes me, ME and not soo much of what others wants me to be.gettit?

p.s->isn't my title just the corniest?:P

2009,here i come!

2008-12-21T17:47:00.000-08:00

i have terrible mood swings.isnt it apparent from my posts?one day im happy and the next im throwing a tantrum and crying my eyes out.

like this morning.got upset beacuse my mum didnt let me do blueberry cheesecake for the family gathering coz she feels im not good enough to do it.pfft.

i know im being immature but i just cant help myself.

dont blame me,blame the hormones.